Kleinermuffinaenlicherkuchennacht! (small muffin cake love night)

Last week I made cupcakes with a close friend of mine, she bought me a cupcake recipe book and it was imperative that we baked a batch, or several. We opted for rose cupcakes (exotic) and chocolate with caramel in the middle (sticky and sweet). This was all accomplished while listening to seductive music and drinking wine. Yes, it was all too easy to fall in love with a baked good under such circumstances.

Sometimes I wonder why I am so crazy about this delicacy called the cupcake. I like them so much I want other foods to taste like them. Case in point my Cold Stone Ice Cream selection, I always get Cake Batter ice cream and rainbow sprinkles. An almost exact replica.

It's a rather simple food, cake and frosting, but it drives me wild - to the point of insanity. So, in attempts to figure it out I am going to eat a cupcake and write this blog in hopes of disbanding the mystery of my cupcake love. Here are the reasons I have came up with:

* The disporportionate amout of frosting to the amount of cake.

* Feels like I'm eating two cupcakes to one piece of cake, thereby saving calories

* They're cute.

* They're colorful.
* The sheer variety can be astounding!
* Sugar (enough said).

What's great about my obsession with cupcakes is that I'm not alone. There are entire Web sites devoted to them and even cupcake food chains around the nation! Indeed kleinermuffinaenlicherkuchen inflicts many!

Today I'm grateful for frosting, sprinkles and ovens. (predictable indeed!)

In me I trust

"Self-trust is the first secret of success." - Emerson

Thank you for that validation Mr. E. It is almost two weeks before I leave my job and I'm overwhelmed with emotion. It's sad to leave people I care about so much, especially when they say nice things - after you leave of course! And to be perfectly honest I'm nervous about what's to come. But what this decision has really boiled down to is trusting myself. Trusting myself to be creative, resourceful, and open-minded to what will happen. Trusting myself knowing this is the best decision for me.

I keep getting emails and comments about how they couldn't do it and will live vicariously through me. It makes me sad people don't see they have the same options I do. It may be more complicated with children or husbands, but they can still have what I (will) have. I just got tired of living vicariously through others and admiring them, I realized it was my fear of not having money that was really stopping me from so many things. I can make a difference in this world and in my own life if I don't let that stop me. What good am I to the people in my life and in the world if I'm stopped by money??

I notice people tend to use money as scapegoat for fear, not I (now)! My ability to earn money and provide for myself far outweighs my fear of starvation (most days). ;) (Although I am keeping the food stamps application printed out just in case.) In all actuality, I could be more wealthy when I'm unemployed than when I had my job, who knows!

This could quite possibly be the first time in my life I made a decision without even asking anyone his/her opinion. Maybe it's a sign of growing up, or just a habit that's long overdue. Either way, in me I trust, and it feels oh so good.

Today I'm grateful for my sense of adventure, email, and commitments.

Juan Mann = one (wo)man

I don't really watch YouTube except for the occasional touching, artistic piece and I still can't get enough of the Juan Mann (not his real name of course, it's a homonym with "one man") video about Free Hugs. My main love languages (you should read the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman if you haven't already) are affection (e.g. hugs and kisses) and words of affirmation (e.g. expressing appreciation).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

Several months ago I ran (literally ran, I was running) into a woman named Liz who gives away free hugs in downtown Colorado Springs just like in the Juan Mann video. In winter I stood outside with her in the cold during my lunch hour and participated. I felt like a million bucks afterwards - I got hugs from people going to the soup kitchen, mothers with their kids, high school students...you name them, I got hug contact. The combination of giving AND recieving love is the greatest gift I can think of. Once I'm unemployed I plan to spend some of that free time in the same way I did several months ago giving away free hugs!

Today I'm grateful for acupuncture, Project Runway, and Water World.

No strings attached

In the wise words of Pinocchio (yes, Pinocchio), I've got no strings! Pay particularly close attention to the line "hi-ho the me-ri-o," there's a lot of good stuff there. ;)

I've got no strings
To hold me down
To make me fret, or make me frown
I had strings
But now I'm free
There are no strings on me

Hi-ho the me-ri-o
That's the only way to go
I want the world to know
Nothing ever worries me

Hi-ho the me-ri-o
I'm as happy as can be
I want the world to know
Nothing ever worries me

I've got no strings
So I have fun
I'm not tied up to anyone
They've got strings
But you can see
There are no strings on me



I woke up singing Pinocchio this morning it was one of the most odd things in my entire life, ever (and I know odd things). It literally felt like I was in a Disney movie. Somehow my hair looked great, my dark circles had disappeared (they were courtesy of Mile High Music Festival) and I sounded great (like normal of course, only I had more energy in my voice instead of being scratchy) ! After singing everything I could remember I got off the side of my bed and floated into the bathroom (I swear my cats were also dancing, but I don't remember if that was in my dream).


I haven't even thought of Pinocchio in ages and I don't even know if that is the correct spelling of his name because I'm so unfamiliar with that particular Disney movie. Several years ago when I went through my Miss America phase and competed in several pageants (I received 2nd runner up in a Miss Colorado preliminary, thank you very much) I sang "When You Wish Upon a Star." Seemed cheesy enough at the time, but now I wonder if singing "I've Got No Strings" would have taken it to the next level...

Indeed, having no strings feels rather wonderful, as of several days ago I'm no longer dating anyone ("I'm not tied up to anyone!") and as of several weeks ahead I will no longer have a job ("So I have fun!"). If Pinocchio is up for that kind of freedom, then I guess so am I. Although I'm not so sure how I feel about the whole "Nothing ever worries me" line...is that possible?
Today I'm grateful for my wonderful office mates, fresh-squeezed juices, and family reunions.

I break records at DDR, wanna make out?

Last Friday my friend Zach and I went to Mr. Biggs, I haven't been there since I was 10 (okay, that's a lie, I didn't live here when I was 10 and it was during my 25th birthday a little more than a year ago). I ended up being exactly what I needed! On top of that, I set a record on the game (yes, add another life skill to my resume apparently).

Life has felt heavy the past several months and it was such a great reminder that none of it really matters. I'm continuously amazed at how significant we make our lives as if everything we do and every conversation we have actually means something in the grand scheme of things. I long to be able to stop myself in the middle of a heated argument and crack an awful joke or do the chicken dance (which is impossible not to love by the way!) - anything that reminds us of the larger picture of life. The picture that doesn't include the problems and pain we create for ourselves and the people we love.

When you watch kids play they just play (or they watch you play, as in the case of my picture), without analyzing conversations or what the other person means, or they think they mean. After a while, the game they play changes and they just adapt. That's the life I want. A life of play, where I don't take myself (or other people for that matter) so seriously.

No, life isn't easy per say, but we sure can make it that way with more play. (Okay, lame rhyme, but I can't help it, my desire to rhyme over powers my desire to be cool.)

Today I'm grateful for Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, faith in the unknown, and Matt.

Viva Vivanno!

I have been avoiding Starbucks for the past several years...and they finally got the hint this week - I don't particularly like them. Their drinks make me gain weight. I don't want to gain weight. I work out hard and want nourishing food/beverage for my body. Enter stage right...the Starbucks Vivanno!

Read more: http://www.starbucks.com/

I'm in love! Whey protein, fiber, banana, oh my! A few of my favorite things! There are two flavors: chocolate banana and orange mango banana. I'm going bananas for the Vivanno! (okay, that was lame, but I couldn't resist saying I was going bananas for something with banana in it.)

Cheers to Starbucks for encouraging my protein problem and winning back my affections, all with one drink and in one day.

Today I'm grateful for the Vivanno (of course!), Hayley, and the library.

Living Life Powerfully and Living a Life You Love

This is the promise of Landmark Education. I took the Landmark Forum (first course in Landmark Education) exactly a year ago and can honestly say I have a life I love. My life isn't perfect and I don't have everything I could ever want and that's the beauty of it. I love my life exactly the way it is at this moment, and exactly the way it isn't. I don't let things bother me the way I used to and when I'm upset or sad, it doesn't last long and I get back on track.

I loved reading the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books when I was younger (okay, fine, I still enjoy reading them on occasion). Landmark Education gave me the tools and ability to live a life where I choose my own adventure, every day. It's the difference being living and really being alive. What an extraordinary power that as human beings we have the ability to create our life to be as beautiful and incredible as we desire. I ask myself a lot, "How good do I want it?" and really believe I can have it.



The Landmark Forum is ranked #2 (behind deep space travel) as one of the Top 100 Adventures according to Top100Expo.com.

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The following is from Top100Expo.com:

“When looking for ‘the very best' of our Top 100 List, we had to consider The Landmark Forum. Although this 3-day seminar was totally unknown to us, it showed up high on our surveys and caught our attention. Having now participated in this program, we found it to be an extraordinary adventure.

The Landmark Forum is a $375 ‘roller coaster ride' that provides an unprecedented and unpredictable adventure. Most of the adventures on our Top 100 List are precedented and predictable. Think about this. Even if we had an adventure of traveling to the planet Pluto, we could roughly describe what you would see, hear, feel, and experience. You would put on some kind of space suit, enter a ship, and then blast out of the atmosphere traveling through space, arriving on a ball called Pluto. You could predict that experience.

In The Landmark Forum, you create new possibilities for your life - you customize your adventure. Out of participating:

• You might get a new job that you truly love, or fall in love with the job you already have.


• You may develop a personal relationship with the man or woman of your dreams, or deepen your relationship with your faith.


• You may add years to your life or resurrect a relationship that died when Nixon was president.


• You might re-discover your kids, or save yourself from destroying them. Nightmares from a difficult childhood could vanish forever - in a moment. Your mother could get her son back, or your wife could get back a husband that she hasn't seen since your honeymoon.


• You might take on new challenges in life (like those listed here on the ‘Top 100 Adventures'), or simply live the rest of your life being happy, satisfied and fulfilled.

The benefits from this adventure last a lifetime, not just a few days like a ‘Vespa tour through Italy,' or a few moments like a ‘skydive from an airplane.' The Landmark Forum is a new kind of adventure. It's not just exciting - it's totally transformational.


If we discover an adventure that takes us directly to heaven, or guarantees world peace, it will unseat The Landmark Forum. Until then, The Landmark Forum clearly resides near the very top of our ‘Top 100 List.'”
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Yes, it is indeed an adventure, you never know what you'll get out of participating. My adventure factor is moderate...I've been sky diving, traveled around the world, and even chased deer in the wild (crazy, I know). Landmark Education gives me a (natural) high every time. The kind of high that makes you enjoy being a life, without risking anything and gaining everything.

When people ask me what Landmark is, I used to talk about how existentialist it is (leave it to a former philosophy minor student to answer that way). Then I realized all I can say is what it has given me - a better relationship with my family, ability to have open and honest communication with anyone, courage to live my dreams, and a desire to do whatever I can to help humanity. I guess you could say it has given me the greatest gift possible - my life.


Today I'm grateful for Wendy Mike, Nathan Havey, and Winnie Shows (may she rest in peace) who all told me about Landmark Education several years ago (took me a while to jump on board).