"If you live life backwards it's e-v-i-l."

The word "evil" certainly puts a dramatic spin on things (and so do I on occasion, so I can relate), but I believe it to be true. This quote by Gurudev Satchidananda (didn't think I would EVER be quoting a guru, but alas here it goes...), speaks to what happens when we live from the past.

Yesterday I saw bits of Napoleon Dynamite before heading downtown and became intrigued by Uncle Rico's character. (Usually, I'm so in love with Skip I don't pay much attention to anyone else. The man wants to be a cage fighter for heavens sake, god bless him.) He lives his entire life by 1982 (which was a lovely year by the way - Year of the Dog, year of my birth, etc.) and not being put in the football game to win the state championship. What an impact that has on his life...people don't take him seriously, his girlfriend broke up with him, and spends majority of his spare time making videos of him throwing the ball or throwing things at Napoleon. The guy believes he can throw a football over the mountains. Obviously this is an exaggerated example of living from our past, but don't most of us seem to have small ways of our past being "evil."

I've spent a lot of time examining my current thoughts and actions and what an impact living the past actually makes. To this day I struggle with moving forward in certain areas of my life and how it's preventing me from truly enjoying certain areas of my life.

Moving forward doesn't mean forgetting your past, not missing it, or pretending it doesn't affect you. It's just acknowledging how it is now and that it can't be any different. I miss people from my life that are no longer a part of it, and that's okay. I miss parts of my life that will never be same and that's okay too. What living from the past truly prevents us from living in our present, which is were all the magic happens (no, not just the bedroom). I think what holds us back is the fear of the future. The past is familiar and comfortable because we already know what happened...living in the future requires a willingness to be live in unfamiliar and unknown (insert spooky music here).

But really though, 1982 was a freakin' awesome year...

Today I'm grateful for guacamole, guilty pleasures, and lunch with Karla.

Life after the fest

Day seven of life after the festival and here's what I have to report: my arm still hurts from playing too much Wii Tennis with Bill Pullman, it feels ridiculous to go to bed before 4 a.m. (so I refuse), I desperately miss lots of my co-workers, and I feel the urge to sleep on my floor as if it's a hotel room I'm sharing with four other people. I'm apparently ruined for life (or at least the next week until I adapt back to boring Beckyland).

On top of that strangeness the day the festival ended I woke up with purple marker all over my face after Stef's ingenius (please sense the sarcasm here) game called "Mystery Knucks." Basic premise is that various people write four letter words (clean and not so clean) on knuckles in permanent marker without knowing what is being written on the other hand. To make that day even more odd, a man walked into my hotel room this morning while I was sitting there naked after getting out of the shower. When I checked out he came over and offered me a peppermint stick. I sense symbolism, but am certain it could have been a peace offering. (Although I'm not sure how "I saw your boobs, want some candy?" makes it any less uncomfortable.)

If nothing else I really remember how much I love documentaries (real life is always so much more interesting to me than fiction) and a reminder that I'm still full of fun (which I was beginning to doubt).

Today I'm grateful for my own bed, unpacking, documentaries.

Giving Thanks

So, every day I write down things I'm grateful for and the one day officially dedicated to gratitude and I can't come up with much. Instead, I choose to do reshare my favorite quote - it pretty much sums up life for me...

"Be glad of life, because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars." Henry Van Dyke

Today I'm grateful for life (and my ability to get really cheesy at random times).

Seeing new

At first glance the picture to the left looks like a dark blob, but eyes do indeed deceive. Believe it or not this is a pic of Rider Strong (Boy Meets World actor) doing a somewhat creepy "Eastern European" dance (as he calls it). I believe it sums up my Starz Denver Film Festival experience quite well. Things aren't always what they seem and in the end are just a fast-paced blur (the free alcohol does contribute to this immensely). This 500 year-old adage quickly proved accurate...festivals are not glamorous and working for them doesn't mean you get to see movies (contrary to popular belief, or maybe just my mine).

The entire festival feels like a blur (see picture above for demonstration)...10 days quickly felt like 2, which actually felt like 10 months. I'm still not sure what to think...did I like it? Did I have fun? Yes and double yes. Would I do it again? Not sure. I already miss the people I worked with and enjoyed feeling like D-List VIP; however, my dark circles appear more permanent than the festival itself.

 

Highlights definitely include meeting the Strong brothers (um, can we say double crush?), partying with Bill Pullman, and Mike's karoake nights (singing "Push It" will never be as much fun).

 

Today I'm grateful for my hotel room, hybrid cars, and the lovely people from the festival.

Love not h8

Today I was in my first (of many to come, I'm sure) rally/march. I have really held out on being visibly active in the political arena because of my last job in government. Working for a film festival, it's difficult not to be. I went to the anti-Proposition 8 rally/march with several of the people I've been spending time with during the festival (I currently have a lovely "gay gaggle"). The passing of this part of the California constitution banning their civil rights was something they've been deeply disturbed by. It felt great to show my support and all of us were emotional during the march.

Today I'm grateful passion, love, and film festivals.

Farrar is a Star(z)

For the next 10 days I'm working feverishly for the Starz Denver Film Festival (can you tell who the major sponsor is?) and it seemed only appropriate to homage via blog. So, Nov. 13-23 the Starz Denver Film Festival rocks the city with 45,000 attendees, more than 125 filmmakers, and pretty much just coolness in general (not that I contribute to that part in the slightest). Visit http://www.denverfilm.org/ for more info and screening times and titles!

See you there!

All Hail Madonna, Queen and Mother of...pretty much everything

Despite any remaining common sense, I decided in my blurry-eyed, exhausted state that a Madonna concert was precisely what the doctor ordered. I would have regreted it the entirety of my life if I hadn't gone! I would love to sum up the concert in one word, or a short sentence, unfortunately any attempts would be a waste. I enjoyed it so much I almost forgot she was 1.5 hours late going on stage!!!? All I can do is describe one particular scene of the concert that describes my awe (keep in mind the woman turned 50 this year, and I realized I just sounded like that old SNL skit):

Picture this: four large screens on stage in a cube as the music starts they begin separating and a car comes out...soon after a spin on the car around stage 10 dancers and Madonna begin jumping rope, and not just jumping, but double dutching!!?? Quick costume change (1 of 1700) and she appears underneath a fifth screen on a piano singing Evita. Are you kidding me?

My favorite song, because I know you're dying to know, was "Like a Prayer." I had an amazing experience while studying in Cannes listening to that song at a discotheque with a Bono and Jason Biggs spotting. But live it trumped my measly attempt at awesomeness. She had quotes from the religious texts of the world and photos. I felt like I was back at Yogaville, except for the fact that there were 50,000 people and a woman humping the floor - whatever.

This woman deserves an award (as if she doesn't have any already), if nothing else she deserves a new status of human being. She's a hybrid woman and mother of pretty much everything.

Today I'm grateful for FREE Madonna tickets, Schmendra, and my new Vitamix!

Attempts at a non-pity party

So, here's the deal...lately I haven't felt funny, inspired or very friendly for that matter (definitely not in the mood for a photo). I attribute it to salmonella contamination from China, new stressful job, adjusting to being home from the ashram, a growing frustration with finding a job that inspires me, and today getting rear-ended. I believe focusing on negative things creates more of that (guess I'm not so good at keeping "The Secret), so...instead below are a list of my favorite jokes. This day will not end as a sequel to an Alexander's Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day book (for those of you who used to read that book).
Instead I choose to list a few of my favorite one-liners (drum badaboom not included).

-The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

-I went to a seafood disco rave last week ... and pulled a mussel.

-Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

-Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on ahead.'

-A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

Today I'm grateful for Shannon staying late to talk to me, vegetable soup, doggie kisses.

Election Day!

I'm really impressed by the quality of candidates running for presidential office this year. While I have my preference in mind (I'm practically a socialist and believe strongly in a universal healthcare system, in case it isn't immediately obvious ;)), both parties intrigue me. I don't get patriotic very often, but having the right to vote gets me somewhat teary-eyed everytime (not that it takes much).
Today I'm grateful for voting in my third presidential race, Chinese Emperor tea, and sleeping in.

China, emphasis on "chi"

Got back from China yesterday and love it just as much as I did three days ago when I left (I had two Halloweens by the way thanks to the International Date Line). While I can't say my chi is entirely balanced (jerky jetlag), the concept of chi really started to make sense while I was there. We had an interesting tour of a famous Chinese pharmacy, got foot massages, and saw people doing Tai Chi. All of these to balance our chi, or life energy (same concept of prana in Hinduism).

The Chinese really seem onto something with acupuncture, acupressure, and Tai Chi. It's the balance and harmony of elements and emotions that keeps the body and person healthy and happy. They even name people and places after things to make them more balance. My personal favorites being a building in the Forbidden City called "Hall of Supreme Peace and Harmony." We even met a lady whose name meant "Happy Spaces." (Just thinking about it still makes me chuckle.) Does it get any better than having your name mean something so simple, yet profound? What an incredible reminder of your true nature to be peaceful!
I couldn't get enough of their signs...The sign above says, "Protection of virescene relies on us as we coexist under the same blue sky." In the U.S. I'm sure it would just say, "stay off the grass" or "don't litter." Leave it to the "Chi"nese to say things in such a flattering, harmonious way!
Today I'm grateful for my new humidifier, seeing my pets, and drinking safe tap water.