"The noun of self becomes a verb. This flashpoint of creation in the present moment is where work and play merge." - Stephen Nachmanovitch

Friday, April 17, 2009

Month of money

Every April it only feels natural in our society to focus on money - tax season arrives without fail every year at the same time! This year I wish it had never come - I owe money, am unemployed and wanting to move. It really makes me examine my relationship with our beloved currency. Over the past few years it has certainly gone from bad, to worse, to okay, to in between to where I am now. I don't have the money I want in terms of stability and saving and investments somedays I really freak out about how I am going to make everything work financially.
Then those moments of clarity arise and I remember I'm not my money - what I owe or have or spend. I realize in the moment of where I am all is wonderful. There is a roof over my head (thank goodness, especially today since it was snowing), food in my belly and clothing on my back. The rest are just details and I work hard to remind myself of that a lot.
Lately I get really put off when people say they can't afford something. It really isn't a matter of affording it or not...it is more about what we choose to invest in or not. We afford what we want to afford. If someone really wants something, we find a way to get it.
That being said I have money for what I want and if not, I'm learning to wait until I do. Money is a tool and can do a lot of good, but having it or not doesn't define me. I define me, and then the money will follow.


Today I'm grateful for my small, but substantial savings account, starting new, and IRS (okay, only sometimes the last one).

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Trash talk


In honor of Earth Day and an effort to become more aware of the trash I produce, today begins my "trash tour." For the next week I will carry every bit of trash with me that cannot be composted, reused, or recycled.


I will literally be carrying the weight of my consumption with me. My goal at this point is to have less trash than will fill a medium-sized messenger bag and not smell too much so that people will still spend time with me. I'm excited to revive my commitment to the environment and make a spectacle of myself at the same time.
I'll report back after my week to tell how it went! Word to your mother - Mother Earth that is.
Today I'm grateful for my new laptop (again, it's so pretty!), optimism, and Red Rock Canyon.

Monday, April 13, 2009

A "sweet" competition


Somehow on Saturday night I found myself in the midst of a cupcake eating contest. It was everything and more I could have ever hoped for. I'm eternally grateful to Stef for making the suggestion and to myself for actually doing it.
Picture this, an entire box of perfectly iced, rainbow colored cupcakes. Going into the competition my strategy was to eat one as slowly as possible and savor the free heavenly treat. I quickly realized I couldn't be okay with just one. So I picked up as many as I could and licked each one once. This way no one else would eat them and I could save them for when I had the ability to fully appreciate each one. It was indeed a sweet competition - and I lost with complete and total satisfaction.
Today I'm grateful for quiet time, cuddly cats in the morning, and sleeping in.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Have an eggcellent Easter!


Easter's such a wonderful time to reflect on rebirth. This holy week has certainly been a rebirth for me. I've become really clear on my path for the next several months. Having direction again feels wonderful - although I'm entirely certain it will change by tomorrow. Thousands of years ago a spiritual, enlightened man named Jesus graced this planet - today we celebrate him.
My celebration included making a Disney Princess village of eggs with Hayley (pictured above). Mine was eggcellent I might add - hope yours was as well!
Today I'm grateful for grad school applications, my new laptop, and competitions.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Rising Star

It has been two years now since the article below appeared in the Colorado Springs Business Journal. I continue to be in shock about how much my self identity was defined by my job. My, my I haver certainly slowed down since then! Just a reminder about who I was and who I am...enjoy! =)

Becky Farrar is the youngest employee of the City of Colorado Springs with a professional job title, public communications specialist. She joined the city in November 2004, a few months after graduating from the University of Northern Colorado.
It was, Farrar said with an amused laugh, her first job.
Since her first day at work, Farrar has rarely slowed down. In a mere two and a half years, she has received an Award of Excellence from City Council for raising the most money ever for a city United Way campaign and an ACE (A Commitment to Excellence) award. Val Snider, a former planning commissioner, nominated Farrar to be a Rising Star and describes himself as one of her biggest fans.

“I’ve known her for 10 or 12 years,” he said. “I’ve really been impressed with the way she works-her work ethic. She can always find the information you need and, like so many city employees, she works overtime without complaint or compensation if that’s what she needs to do. She’s a young person who’s going to go places in the city — and in life.”
Her job responsibilities include speech-writing for the mayor and members of City Council, event coordination, media relations and community relations.

Farrar is a military brat. (“You can put the emphasis on brat!” she said with a smile.) She lived in Germany for several years before moving to Colorado Springs with her family nine years ago.


At UNC, Farrar received bachelor’s degree in journalism and mass communications, with a minor in French. She attended the Sorbonne in Paris, as well as the College Internationale de Cannes, earning degrees in French proficiency and French culture and language.
While at UNC, she received a Rising Star award from the Denver Association of Women in Communications, as well as the UNC presidential prize for leadership, awarded to one female and one male graduate from a senior class of 3,000 students.
She is not slowing down, even now.

“I want to go to grad school, and get a master’s degree in public administration,” Farrar said. “After that, I don’t know – but I really do like my job.”

Farrar is involved with multiple nonprofit organizations. She volunteers with Memorial Hospital, is advertising chairwoman for the Junior League and has volunteered with many United Way organizations throughout the community.

Farrar also is a Delta Zeta alumna, a member of the Women’s Network and of the Fine Arts Center.
And how does Farrar see herself?
“Creative, enthusiastic, organized.” At least, that’s the heading on her resume.
Clearly, she is a young woman in a hurry, and not just figuratively. Last October, she won the 2006 Mayor’s Cup 5K run for her age group, completing the race in just over 24 minutes – pretty swift, but Farrar said she’s sure she can do better.

-John Hazelhurst
Today I'm grateful for my past, PRESENT, and future.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

I choose life (and love, and truly living)



This week a friend of mine committed suicide and I'm struggling to express how I feel about it. I can't say we ever hung out just the two of us, but I certainly consider him someone dear to my heart. Suicide makes me wish we had been really vulnerable with each other. A reminder that when we can be completely authentic about how we're feeling lives can be saved. I wish he knew how much we all struggle at times, it's called being human. I wish he would have shared about his pain. We all feel hopeless at times and even an hour or a few minutes can completely change perspective.

One of the biggest things I've come to understand over the past year since I really delved into my spirituality and growth is that our mind isn't us. Just because we think something doesn't make it true. We get to decide whether or not to acknowledge and believe whatever our brains tell us. Landmark calls it our "meaning making machine" and Buddhism the "ego," whatever the name it doesn't get to run the game - we do. By "we" I mean the part of ourselves that is really us who recognizes beauty, loves others (and ourselves), and lives in peace. We have access to our true selves all the time. There are days I go with me and days I go with the ego, always aware both exist and have value.
Death challenges my spiritual beliefes immensely - on one side I believe we are souls in a form and don't really die just move onto another form (or not), on the flip side I'm sad and still fear death. Every time I hear about someone I know dying or near death I'm once again reminded of its preciousness. Maybe that's the only purpose it serves to remind us of our life. In the spirit of Timber and remembering, I choose life - to remember its preciousness and joy. I choose life.
Today I'm grateful for Timber's life as an incredible artist (one of his light fixtures pictured above) and human being, vaccuums (yes, I do housework on occasion), and the Community for Spiritual Living.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Tai Chi warrior



I tried Tai Chi for the first time, can't believe it has almost been 6 months since I was in China and watched 105-year old men doing it in city parks. It is a kind of martial art that combines stress reduction and agility, it is pure meditation in motion and heaven if you ask me. (Which you really didn't, but I'm answering anyway.)
What an incredible way to stay in shape and feel strong - not so sure I look that way yet. Inside I know I'm a Tai Chi warrior to the bone.
Today I'm grateful for Traditional Chinese Medicine, my car, and Rachel having a baby!