Happy Cesar Chavez Day!

Today is Cesar Chavez's (insert accent symbols above "e" and "a") birthday and a national holiday. For those of you unfamiliar with his story, he was a Mexican American farm worker who lead many demonstrations to support farm workers and make farming methods more environmentally and worker friendly. He founded what is now the United Farmers Workers.

In 1994, President Clinton awarded him the U.S. Medal of Freedom after Cesar's death in 1993. He was a vegan, apparently the coolest folks around are vegetarian, vegan, or pescatarian. Just an observation. ;)

Today I'm grateful for visionaries, holidays, and muffins.

VH1 gets tough (love)

VH1's Tough Love gives me just the "reality" check I need. It's about single women and a matchmaker (hottie Steven Ward) who gives them a dose of tough love to help them find a match. They set it up so magically so that you can see just enough of yourself in each of the participants. So far I relate the most with Jody (Miss Career and in PR) and Abiola (Miss Princess and she even did a photo shoot with cupcakes).

I realized I have really made my career and personal growth such priorities I convinced myself I don't have room for anything else (or want anything else for that matter). For the first time in my life I realized those are such comfort zones I'm afraid to step out of. I date and am a wonderful flirt (if I do say so myself), but don't seem to ever take it to the next level. I'm ready now, I know what I want so much more clearly. In the past few days I have met some incredible guys I may or may not have futures with, but have so perfectly reminded me that they are out there. I can have my (cup) cake and eat it too. (Thanks Jen for reminding me of this via your blog.) ;)

Depending on the dating situation I either get overly excited about a relationship, TMI about anything and everything, talk too much politics, text like a wild woman, or chat about past relationships. (I can't help it I have some doozies of stories to tell!) I'm ready to enjoy dating again, instead of it being a chore and something I "have" to do. Thanks to Mr. Ward, I am seeing where my dating tactics are coming up short. And by tactics I mean not having any. He's a more attractive, hip version of Greg B. from "He's Just Not That Into You," and even better...single!

Today I'm grateful for VH1, Benriger white wine, and Easter candy.

The wheels on the bus...

A few weeks ago in preparation for Earth Day, I rode the city bus for the first time, which is a confession of sorts since I claim to be somewhat of an environmentalist. When I travel I use public transportation, but something about having my car so close tempts me. It took me three hours to get to the Citadel Mall to use one of my freebie underwear coupons and back. On my way home from the bus stop it began raining and I missed my car and was ready for the comfort of my house without so many strangers around me.

What I seemed to have missed was appreciating the camaraderie while I was there, all these people were together on a bus and I saw strangers of all ethnicities and socio-economic statuses carrying on conversations. The bus driver said hello to everyone who came on and everyone who left said thank you. The most touching moment of the experience was when an obviously homeless woman gave me her transfer pass. Being a bus newbie I didn't realize you could have a transfer pass to get on a new bus with a different route. As I was getting on the woman saw my confusion and offered me hers.

It hit me later how little separates me from the people on the bus, a lot of them without cars for monetary reasons, or without homes because of unfortunate circumstances. If it weren't for my parents and a shrinking savings account I would and could be them, looking for the wheels on the bus every day, instead of once on a blue bus.

Today I'm grateful for my car, sunshine, and my kitties.

Spring break party

My lady of leisure status mixed perfectly with a lovely spring break trip to Napa/Sonoma and San Fran this week - I'm pruning a vine left. I leave tomorrow with tight pants and a slight hangover - when you have the tolerance of a mouse, if mice had alcohol tolerances, every little drop hurts. My week began with dinner at Pakwan and ice cream at Bi Rite Creamery with a handsome Adrian Brody look alike and continued with seeing several local friends of mine and wine country. My friend Poppy, whom I studied with at the Sorbonne, and I caught up on past few years of our lives and ate ridiculous amounts of fine French cuisine including daily bakery visits and tea.
In Napa we stayed with Dave of Carneros Della Notte winery (check out Pino NV on YouTube and the delicious Liquid Panty Remover wine) who was generous enough to give us a place to lay our heads and delicious meals! I even got to see a dear friend from middle school who lives near by. Poppy and I visited several wineries and agreed Viader and Benziger both knocked our socks off.

What really became glaringly obvious was how my taste in spring break trips have changed. Past trips have been to Vegas, Florida, or Havasu...now I opt for wine and good food. Apparently now the only parties I prefer are the ones in my mouth! (I realize this could be a totally in the gutter comment and am choosing to ignore it.) I left the west with renewed appreciation for wines and incredibly tight pants.

Today I'm grateful for home sweet home, San Francisco, and American wines.

Late bloomer

Seeing as how spring has already sprung last week and I'm just now getting to this post, which provides only further evidence of my late blooming status, it only seemed appropriate to discuss the late blooming phenomenom. Does it even exist? Is there really such thing as a "late bloomer?" I'm hoping your answers to these questions are no because then I will no further reason to continue to wait on "blossoming" with larger boobs. (Although calling them "breasts" would make me sound more mature.)

The term "late bloomer" seems to describe someone with an immaturity in some area comparing the bulbs in spring who bloomer later than the rest. To some extent this describes me...people always tell me how much prettier I am now than in high school and even college (ouch, that was only five years ago!) and I "grew" an entire inch when I was 23.

For the sake of sharing, the tulips pictured are my favorite variety and they bloom after all the others. But really, who gets decide early and late? The seasons? The age? Pish posh I say, it's all in the brilliance of the beautiful bloom. Good things are worth waiting for.

Today I'm grateful for spring, slight breeze, and yoga outside.

Escalaphobia

All my life, or least since I can remember that faithful day in Paris, I have been scared of escalators. I realize it sounds silly, but today I was reminded why traveling sometimes unnerves me...airports have too many moving platforms, escalators, things, etc. When I was in DIA getting ready to fly to San Fran to enjoy time in Napa, there was a young girl who was nervous about getting on as well. I was incredibly relieved and almost wanted to yell at her mother for making her.

When I was studying in Paris in college, I was in the Metro (subway) and someone's luggage got stuck on the moving platform. A group of about 50 of us got smushed and practically trampled - gives me nightmares still to this day on occasion. Whenever I get on any moving thingy (I can't come up with a better noun at this point), I get really nervous and usually avoid it by hauling my suitcase up the stairs instead. Sometimes this is an effort to get some exercise, other times simply out of avoidance.

So yes, my escalaphobic confession is out - it may be childish, but I consider myself young at heart and escalaphobia can last a lifetime.

Today I'm grateful for stairs, my safe trip to Napa, and public transit.

Trust, you must

One thing I struggle with on a consistent basis is trust, but not in the sense of a romantic relationship or other people (apparently I'm far more concerned about myself these days ;)). More so when it has to deal with trusting myself to make the correct decision or do what's best for me, this also includes trusting the Universe/Source/God, whatever you call it in your spiritual belief system. Or trusting everything works out as it should. I spend so much time gathering information and talking to people I forget to listen to what I already know.

For some intuition isn't a great source of wisdom or something they adhere to, I'm finding more and more how much it could guide me towards my dreams if only I would give it a chance. I'm in this ultimate place of not knowing what's next for me and how to move forward. It has been an incredible spiritual practice to just be in the unknown without trying to fix it, or make a decision, or do anything for that matter, besides talk to my dog a lot. A lot of times I think people rush into decisions or things just to have an answer to what's next, instead of taking a moment to focus on noticing they don't know and being okay with it.

How wonderful it is to not know if someone's the "right" person for you, or if you should take a job, or where to live. Instead to trust things will unravel as they should and enjoy that in not knowing, anything is possible.

Today I'm grateful for SPRING, Amber, and Hayley.

Hippie stuck in sorority girl

Last week I had a rather astute realization (the picture left is of me realizing a painting a like). I have these two competing sides of me that not only confuse myself, but also most people I know as well. Are you ready for this...I'm obviously a hippie stuck inside a sorority girl. That explains everything, including why I didn't ever really feel like I fit into my sorority and why I don't look like a lot of hippies I know. While I don't really enjoy showering that much, I still do it on a somewhat regular basis. And I have some flowy, long skirts and dresses, I much prefer shopping at Express and Victoria Secret.

Further evidence of my split personalities (did I mention I'm also a Gemini)...I don't ever blow dry my hair or do anything with it, but get really expensive haircuts. I can't stand long fingernails or toenails, but get a pedi once a month to set a spiritual intention. (Is that kooky or what?) While I don't say things like "daddie-o," I have been known to throw around, "be there or be square." I believe the rich should get richer, but only if they are helping others along the way. I read Marie Claire and Yoga Journal at the same time and alternate between expensive bottled water and my clunky metal waterbottle.

It's great to be Becky, but I must ask...which came first? The hippie or the sorority?

Today I'm grateful for tea, job interviews, and my own apartment any day now!

Meister sheister

I'm pretty sure I haven't mentioned this on my blog before, but I'm a Jagerette. Meaning I work for Jagermeister, which means both "master hunter" and "pays me more than my government job did." It is certainly no secret and we even have a lovely Jagermeister magnet on the fridge at the family house.

I have a great time with it, I go to bars and giveaway free stuff and flirt with men I will never see again (besides a few exceptions). More recently it has become a source of embaressment. The tanktop and leggings have nothing to do with it, it appears to be my own stupidity and poor timing at play.

An example...Friday evening before my shift I stopped in Wal-mart for my visit every 7 years (I make no secret of the fact I can't stand that place and low prices or not, it represents entire yuck of retail into one box of concrete, yuck), my dad got a gift card and didn't need anything. I stop in on my way to meet a fellow Jagerette and run into the City Attorney in my boots, shorts, and Jager jacket (mind you I have on fishnet stockings and it's five degrees outside). The entire event lasted 30 seconds at most, hardly even an acknowledgment, but the pain will be with me for all of eternity.

Then last night before my shift I went to an event celebrating the Hindu holiday of color, Holi. Part of the celebration includes decorating people with colored powders. Naturally I show up for my shift and completely forget to wash it off. Worst of all it is bright red and only on my forehead and nose - appearing as if I had been shot and then blood drizzled down the side of my nose. I couldn't figure out why the owner of the bar was looking at me very concerned...then the other gal shows up and 20 minutes into the shift says she finally has to ask why I have paint all over my face. Ugh! Yet another cringeworthy event before and during a Jagermeister shift, both within 48 hours.

I may not be the coolest Jagerette out there, but certainly the most humbled.

Today I'm grateful for Holi meaning spring is close, walks with my dog, and my new supplements!

Cool article!

This visual shows you if you are a right- or left-brained thinker...

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22556281-661,00.html

Even more fun to see if you can get it to switch directions...

Today I'm grateful for being right brained, optimism, and spoiling myself (someone's gotta do it!).

Scaredy cat

Big news, I was offered a job with the UN doing PIO (Public Information Officer) work in the Democratic Republic of Congo. (Why is it that countries with the word "republic" or "democratic" seem very much not so?) The past two days have been a whirl of emotions including me crying, pacing for hours, and sleeping more than I thought humanly possible all in order to somehow forget a decision I must make.

I'm honored to be offered this position and my skills set of speaking French, working as PIO in the past, and having training with FEMA all make me a great candidate for this post. No doubt this is a humungo opportunity for someone losing job faith and living in their parents' basement. I want to make a difference in the international community, but not at the risk of my life. The Dept of State sent out a travel warning yesterday for Americans to avoid areas of the Congo b/c of violence against Americans and UN. Two things I am indeed. Not just any American...one with blonde hair and blue eyes who doesn't blend in in the slightest.

My parents have been really emotional about the offer and even friends were sending me info that could be useful. In the end my decision didn't have to be made. They decided to postpone to see if violence would calm down. I'm relieved, would be an understatement.

I'm ready for larger "problems" in my life, not money or housing based, but more like "how do I get food to 3,000 people in Africa?" or "what would make the most impact to help these homeless teens?" Those are the kind of problems or issues I want to have. I'm not sure I'm ready for "Will I be attacked today?" or "Will I get Ebola from touching this doorknob?"

Postpone all you want UN, in the meantime may I request a post with a beach and without deadly diseases?

Today I'm grateful for speaker phone calls with Linds and Hayley, my improving patience, and muffins from Matte Factor.

Watch out!

I just saw a Wayne Dyer movie last week and he inspires me more than the idea of a dozen cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles without calories. His new movie (by new, it came out last August for those of us who seem to periodically disappear from society) Ambition to Meaning really called to me about looking at my next career move as a way to give meaning to my life. Since I've been unemployed I've realized how much identity I had with my job. Now that I don't have it and don't know what an identity as a "speed dating hostess" would feel like it is an entirely blank slate. One I'm ready to begin filling up with experiences that fulfill me and serve a worldly purpose.

In the movie he discusses people's priorities before and after some sort of "quantum moment" (spiritual experience for those of you not studying quantum physics on your weekends). As if we needed further proof of difference between men and women, a study studied - yes that has redundancy I'm unwilling to fix - how men and women's values change after such experiences. For the women in the study the things they valued most before a quantum moment were, in order: family, independence, career, fitting in, and attractiveness.

If that doesn't demonstrate the pulling and tugging of women in such competing directions I don't know what does. We want family, but want to be independent. We want to fit in and have a good career...goodness gracious, no wonder women get so stressed! Here's the good news...after a quantum moment women reported their values as: growth (I am assuming self, not height, although it wasnt' said), self-esteem, spirituality, happiness, and forgiveness.

For men I didn't remember it as well, but it the list started with accumulating wealth, being a part of the "boys" group, and having adventure. After such a spiritual experience it become spirituality, family, and following the will of a higher power.

The study particularly intrigued me because I've felt somewhat distant from my friends since I got back from the ashram. I really couldn't pinpoint what had changed and then realized it was my values. I'm more committed to my connection with something bigger than myself and having the kind of happiness and joy that comes from serving others and not addictive behaviors I used to have such as shopping or spending time stalking people online. Watch out world, there's a new lady in town and she would rather listen to a 60-year old spiritual teacher than date.

P.S. I have no idea why I chose this picture to accompany this post, it reminded me of my spirituality and how it sheds light onto everything I do.

Today I'm grateful for brunch with Terri, my upcoming trip to Napa, and clean water.

25 Things To Hate About Facebook

It's rather safe to assume any male or female with any degree of coolness (including myself) has a Facebook page. Julian Smith - aka the man who shall have my children or I shall have...whatever, you know what I mean - an overnight YouTube sensation created this hilarious video about the things that drive us nutso about Facebook. (Using the word "hate" seems a bit overkill for my beloved FB.) Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVA047JAQsk

Today I'm grateful for free Starbucks drinks, my supplements, and Julian Smith.