Kleinermuffinaenlicherkuchennacht! (small muffin cake love night)

Last week I made cupcakes with a close friend of mine, she bought me a cupcake recipe book and it was imperative that we baked a batch, or several. We opted for rose cupcakes (exotic) and chocolate with caramel in the middle (sticky and sweet). This was all accomplished while listening to seductive music and drinking wine. Yes, it was all too easy to fall in love with a baked good under such circumstances.

Sometimes I wonder why I am so crazy about this delicacy called the cupcake. I like them so much I want other foods to taste like them. Case in point my Cold Stone Ice Cream selection, I always get Cake Batter ice cream and rainbow sprinkles. An almost exact replica.

It's a rather simple food, cake and frosting, but it drives me wild - to the point of insanity. So, in attempts to figure it out I am going to eat a cupcake and write this blog in hopes of disbanding the mystery of my cupcake love. Here are the reasons I have came up with:

* The disporportionate amout of frosting to the amount of cake.

* Feels like I'm eating two cupcakes to one piece of cake, thereby saving calories

* They're cute.

* They're colorful.
* The sheer variety can be astounding!
* Sugar (enough said).

What's great about my obsession with cupcakes is that I'm not alone. There are entire Web sites devoted to them and even cupcake food chains around the nation! Indeed kleinermuffinaenlicherkuchen inflicts many!

Today I'm grateful for frosting, sprinkles and ovens. (predictable indeed!)

In me I trust

"Self-trust is the first secret of success." - Emerson

Thank you for that validation Mr. E. It is almost two weeks before I leave my job and I'm overwhelmed with emotion. It's sad to leave people I care about so much, especially when they say nice things - after you leave of course! And to be perfectly honest I'm nervous about what's to come. But what this decision has really boiled down to is trusting myself. Trusting myself to be creative, resourceful, and open-minded to what will happen. Trusting myself knowing this is the best decision for me.

I keep getting emails and comments about how they couldn't do it and will live vicariously through me. It makes me sad people don't see they have the same options I do. It may be more complicated with children or husbands, but they can still have what I (will) have. I just got tired of living vicariously through others and admiring them, I realized it was my fear of not having money that was really stopping me from so many things. I can make a difference in this world and in my own life if I don't let that stop me. What good am I to the people in my life and in the world if I'm stopped by money??

I notice people tend to use money as scapegoat for fear, not I (now)! My ability to earn money and provide for myself far outweighs my fear of starvation (most days). ;) (Although I am keeping the food stamps application printed out just in case.) In all actuality, I could be more wealthy when I'm unemployed than when I had my job, who knows!

This could quite possibly be the first time in my life I made a decision without even asking anyone his/her opinion. Maybe it's a sign of growing up, or just a habit that's long overdue. Either way, in me I trust, and it feels oh so good.

Today I'm grateful for my sense of adventure, email, and commitments.

Juan Mann = one (wo)man

I don't really watch YouTube except for the occasional touching, artistic piece and I still can't get enough of the Juan Mann (not his real name of course, it's a homonym with "one man") video about Free Hugs. My main love languages (you should read the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman if you haven't already) are affection (e.g. hugs and kisses) and words of affirmation (e.g. expressing appreciation).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

Several months ago I ran (literally ran, I was running) into a woman named Liz who gives away free hugs in downtown Colorado Springs just like in the Juan Mann video. In winter I stood outside with her in the cold during my lunch hour and participated. I felt like a million bucks afterwards - I got hugs from people going to the soup kitchen, mothers with their kids, high school students...you name them, I got hug contact. The combination of giving AND recieving love is the greatest gift I can think of. Once I'm unemployed I plan to spend some of that free time in the same way I did several months ago giving away free hugs!

Today I'm grateful for acupuncture, Project Runway, and Water World.

No strings attached

In the wise words of Pinocchio (yes, Pinocchio), I've got no strings! Pay particularly close attention to the line "hi-ho the me-ri-o," there's a lot of good stuff there. ;)

I've got no strings
To hold me down
To make me fret, or make me frown
I had strings
But now I'm free
There are no strings on me

Hi-ho the me-ri-o
That's the only way to go
I want the world to know
Nothing ever worries me

Hi-ho the me-ri-o
I'm as happy as can be
I want the world to know
Nothing ever worries me

I've got no strings
So I have fun
I'm not tied up to anyone
They've got strings
But you can see
There are no strings on me



I woke up singing Pinocchio this morning it was one of the most odd things in my entire life, ever (and I know odd things). It literally felt like I was in a Disney movie. Somehow my hair looked great, my dark circles had disappeared (they were courtesy of Mile High Music Festival) and I sounded great (like normal of course, only I had more energy in my voice instead of being scratchy) ! After singing everything I could remember I got off the side of my bed and floated into the bathroom (I swear my cats were also dancing, but I don't remember if that was in my dream).


I haven't even thought of Pinocchio in ages and I don't even know if that is the correct spelling of his name because I'm so unfamiliar with that particular Disney movie. Several years ago when I went through my Miss America phase and competed in several pageants (I received 2nd runner up in a Miss Colorado preliminary, thank you very much) I sang "When You Wish Upon a Star." Seemed cheesy enough at the time, but now I wonder if singing "I've Got No Strings" would have taken it to the next level...

Indeed, having no strings feels rather wonderful, as of several days ago I'm no longer dating anyone ("I'm not tied up to anyone!") and as of several weeks ahead I will no longer have a job ("So I have fun!"). If Pinocchio is up for that kind of freedom, then I guess so am I. Although I'm not so sure how I feel about the whole "Nothing ever worries me" line...is that possible?
Today I'm grateful for my wonderful office mates, fresh-squeezed juices, and family reunions.

I break records at DDR, wanna make out?

Last Friday my friend Zach and I went to Mr. Biggs, I haven't been there since I was 10 (okay, that's a lie, I didn't live here when I was 10 and it was during my 25th birthday a little more than a year ago). I ended up being exactly what I needed! On top of that, I set a record on the game (yes, add another life skill to my resume apparently).

Life has felt heavy the past several months and it was such a great reminder that none of it really matters. I'm continuously amazed at how significant we make our lives as if everything we do and every conversation we have actually means something in the grand scheme of things. I long to be able to stop myself in the middle of a heated argument and crack an awful joke or do the chicken dance (which is impossible not to love by the way!) - anything that reminds us of the larger picture of life. The picture that doesn't include the problems and pain we create for ourselves and the people we love.

When you watch kids play they just play (or they watch you play, as in the case of my picture), without analyzing conversations or what the other person means, or they think they mean. After a while, the game they play changes and they just adapt. That's the life I want. A life of play, where I don't take myself (or other people for that matter) so seriously.

No, life isn't easy per say, but we sure can make it that way with more play. (Okay, lame rhyme, but I can't help it, my desire to rhyme over powers my desire to be cool.)

Today I'm grateful for Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, faith in the unknown, and Matt.

Viva Vivanno!

I have been avoiding Starbucks for the past several years...and they finally got the hint this week - I don't particularly like them. Their drinks make me gain weight. I don't want to gain weight. I work out hard and want nourishing food/beverage for my body. Enter stage right...the Starbucks Vivanno!

Read more: http://www.starbucks.com/

I'm in love! Whey protein, fiber, banana, oh my! A few of my favorite things! There are two flavors: chocolate banana and orange mango banana. I'm going bananas for the Vivanno! (okay, that was lame, but I couldn't resist saying I was going bananas for something with banana in it.)

Cheers to Starbucks for encouraging my protein problem and winning back my affections, all with one drink and in one day.

Today I'm grateful for the Vivanno (of course!), Hayley, and the library.

Living Life Powerfully and Living a Life You Love

This is the promise of Landmark Education. I took the Landmark Forum (first course in Landmark Education) exactly a year ago and can honestly say I have a life I love. My life isn't perfect and I don't have everything I could ever want and that's the beauty of it. I love my life exactly the way it is at this moment, and exactly the way it isn't. I don't let things bother me the way I used to and when I'm upset or sad, it doesn't last long and I get back on track.

I loved reading the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books when I was younger (okay, fine, I still enjoy reading them on occasion). Landmark Education gave me the tools and ability to live a life where I choose my own adventure, every day. It's the difference being living and really being alive. What an extraordinary power that as human beings we have the ability to create our life to be as beautiful and incredible as we desire. I ask myself a lot, "How good do I want it?" and really believe I can have it.



The Landmark Forum is ranked #2 (behind deep space travel) as one of the Top 100 Adventures according to Top100Expo.com.

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The following is from Top100Expo.com:

“When looking for ‘the very best' of our Top 100 List, we had to consider The Landmark Forum. Although this 3-day seminar was totally unknown to us, it showed up high on our surveys and caught our attention. Having now participated in this program, we found it to be an extraordinary adventure.

The Landmark Forum is a $375 ‘roller coaster ride' that provides an unprecedented and unpredictable adventure. Most of the adventures on our Top 100 List are precedented and predictable. Think about this. Even if we had an adventure of traveling to the planet Pluto, we could roughly describe what you would see, hear, feel, and experience. You would put on some kind of space suit, enter a ship, and then blast out of the atmosphere traveling through space, arriving on a ball called Pluto. You could predict that experience.

In The Landmark Forum, you create new possibilities for your life - you customize your adventure. Out of participating:

• You might get a new job that you truly love, or fall in love with the job you already have.


• You may develop a personal relationship with the man or woman of your dreams, or deepen your relationship with your faith.


• You may add years to your life or resurrect a relationship that died when Nixon was president.


• You might re-discover your kids, or save yourself from destroying them. Nightmares from a difficult childhood could vanish forever - in a moment. Your mother could get her son back, or your wife could get back a husband that she hasn't seen since your honeymoon.


• You might take on new challenges in life (like those listed here on the ‘Top 100 Adventures'), or simply live the rest of your life being happy, satisfied and fulfilled.

The benefits from this adventure last a lifetime, not just a few days like a ‘Vespa tour through Italy,' or a few moments like a ‘skydive from an airplane.' The Landmark Forum is a new kind of adventure. It's not just exciting - it's totally transformational.


If we discover an adventure that takes us directly to heaven, or guarantees world peace, it will unseat The Landmark Forum. Until then, The Landmark Forum clearly resides near the very top of our ‘Top 100 List.'”
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Yes, it is indeed an adventure, you never know what you'll get out of participating. My adventure factor is moderate...I've been sky diving, traveled around the world, and even chased deer in the wild (crazy, I know). Landmark Education gives me a (natural) high every time. The kind of high that makes you enjoy being a life, without risking anything and gaining everything.

When people ask me what Landmark is, I used to talk about how existentialist it is (leave it to a former philosophy minor student to answer that way). Then I realized all I can say is what it has given me - a better relationship with my family, ability to have open and honest communication with anyone, courage to live my dreams, and a desire to do whatever I can to help humanity. I guess you could say it has given me the greatest gift possible - my life.


Today I'm grateful for Wendy Mike, Nathan Havey, and Winnie Shows (may she rest in peace) who all told me about Landmark Education several years ago (took me a while to jump on board).

Becky's my name and adventure's my game

This week is my final four week stretch at my job. That's right, after four years of corporateness I'm headed off to act my age (whatever that means). For the remainder of 2008 I plan to be as adventurous and stress-free as possible (notice I didn't say spontaneous, planning makes the world go 'round).

 

I don't have a strict schedule at this point, but my last day at work is August 15. Then I plan to wait a few weeks and maybe head to Vegas. After that I'm planning to work at a winery in France, working/living in an Ashram in Boulder, visiting China, and possibly living in a commune (I love the idea of growing my own food and talking to it during the process). I have no idea what 2009 will hold , moving to Denver, working for Americorps or Peace Corps...not sure.

I have so much freedom and it took me up until last week to even notice I had it. After August 15, my life is open and filled with nothing, which means anything is possible. Mostly I have a growing list of life experiences that need checking off. I'm excited about what lies ahead and to really live life the way I've wanted to for a long time. I'm refreshed and energized, and hoping the high lasts a lot longer than my unemployment!

Today I'm grateful for cinnamon tea, my spider pet Sammy, and my strong abs!

Guys only want girlfriends who have great skills

In my ultimate quest for finding my purpose on this planet and giving back to humanity, it seems only necessary to explore what skills I bring to the table. (Please note: I will continue to use the word "skills" to describe things that are inevitably "strengths" out of an obvious tribute to one of the most funny movies ever made...Napoleon Dynamite.The title of this blog also falls into this category.)

 

Some of my most evident skills include charm, wit, an appreciation for fine wine and cupcakes, spelling bees, syntax, good taste in clothes and shoes, jumping rope, baking, runway walking, being friendly (I did receive the Most Friendly Award for my senior class), typing, speaking French, Dance Dance Revolution, tennis, running, being a Jager girl, and the list goes on and on. (The sarcasm here is dripping, please catch it.) Yesterday I rediscovered one I forgot...hula hooping.

I had a lunch meeting and before it started I saw a woman with a hula hoop and several kids. My competitive spirit couldn't resist - I had to show them who was, once and for all, the hula hoop queen. Miss Puerto Rico Colorado Springs was there, and I even beat her! Once I started, I couldn't stop...I did two at once, I walked, talked and even turned in circles. I "hooped" so much I bruised my boney spine!

Rediscovering this talent of mine has re-energized my entire being! (Okay, that's a tad dramatic, but it did add a positive spin to my meeting that followed.) I want it to mean something really cool about me that I'm so good at hula hooping. Unfortunately it is most likely just like that fact that my second toe is longer than my first...it means darn tootin' absolutely nothing. But at least I have skills, and guys only want girlfriends who have great skills. ;)

Today I'm grateful for my iPod, rhythmic hips, and sweet text messages.

Tending to my soul

Being a somewhat Type A, to-do-list machine I sometimes forget about taking care of the most important part of me...my soul. In many Eastern cultures the butterfly represents the soul, and I have been ignoring mine as of late. This past week had several let downs and in rough times I tend to forget about what needs nurturing the most - me.

 

So what is a soul? I see my soul as the purest part of me, it's the formless, timeless essence that makes me who I am. I am committing all day tomorrow (I took the day off, knowing this is what I so desperately needed) to "soul tending." The soul is our connection to each other, to something beyond just our bodies and brains. I've heard it described as the way the Universe/One Spirit/God speaks to us and connects us with others.

I heard a beautiful quote this morning at my spiritual community (this is what we non-Western religious folks call churches), "My soul is stirred when it recognizes itself." (Please ignore the blatant tense incompatibility to appreciate this quote.) This really spurred my brain to think about what in my life tends/stirs my soul - spending time on these sorts of things keeps my life in perspective. Being in nature, being with close friends, listening to classical and/or positive music, sitting still, reading, meditating, yoga, running...all of these make me feel alive and grateful to be experiencing life.

 

I consider myself a rather spiritual person, it's incredibly important to me to have a relationship with something (notice I didn't say someone) greater than myself. I do believe we are spiritual beings have a human experience and this reminder keeps me grounded in my faith. I've practiced with several different religions and always come back to a spirituality that can't be defined by one religion or practice. Growing on a spiritual path, whether 1 or 100 paths, becomes like the peeling of an onion. It peels away layer by layer to get closer to the essence of your humanity - a soul. I enjoy this process as a way of living a life committed to growth. When all is said tending to my soul only requires me remembering how to tend to my spiritual path.

Today I'm grateful for delectable three-course meals, long bike rides, and lunches with friends I haven't seen in a while.

Making sense of independence!

It was indeed a fabulous 4th of July, thank you for asking. Although, this year it had much different meaning for me than years past.

I have never described myself as very patriotic (according to one of my MySpace tests I am only 18% American, so there you have it). For some reason in 2008 I was incredibly touched by what the 4th of July truly represents. It was the first time I really put it into the context of my life and I owe it all to Janell from Toni and Guy who gave me a wonderful scalp massage after my haircut, told me about her new husband and then said, "You know, this day is really your day...it's all about celebrating independence." Pure genius! I may have added yet another female crush to the list (sorry Chelsea)!

What does independence or being independent really mean? I have always described myself as independent - I enjoy spending time by myself, can entertain myself, and realize I have everything I need to live a fulfilled life, which is me. Freedom and independence doesn't mean nothing impacts more, or that others are obselete. To me it represents embracing hardships or rough times with freedom to choose. Having freedom in my souls allows me to use those difficulties to propel me forward on my path or stay static living from my past.

Yesterday, after a Slip and Slide/Golf Pro and Tennis Ho party (see picture above for the underwear and badminton portions of the evening) and a "bad"minton game, I took off for my favorite event - Memorial Park fireworks with my parents and friend Shannon. It was sheer perfection. Last night I listened to the symphony and marveled at each and every firework as a symbol of me getting to choose my life. Which is really the ultimate independence, isn't it? Choosing it the way it is and the way it isn't. Choosing what I feel and what I have. I have the freedom to make it whatever I want and then to choose it the way it is again, and again, and again. What an incredibly liberating feeling...that my friends, is true independence - living your life and accepting it exactly the way it is. Let freedom ring (apparently I am more American than previously thought)!

Today I'm grateful for my independence, my new cupcake recipe book from Lauren, and fireworks.