Changing the world through giving gifts

I'm a sucker for memoirs about experiments, I hope to write my own someday. Possibly about my experiment in reading them and then doing strange things as a result. Although this one I just finished by Cami Walker, "29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life," wasn't strange like the others. It was more of a spiritual memoir, don't get me started on how much I love those, which I really appreciated. Walker is battling MS and writes of her journey of dealing with the disease and healing through giving. The results weren't suprising, she felt better and experienced more love and mindfulness. Even though it wasn't unpredictable, read the book and I will highlight a few of my favorite lessons of hers:

• "When I give from a place of self-centeredness as opposed to self-love, I become isolated and lonely and I forget I am part of a greater whole. The last thing I want to do is give."
• "I rarely move back into a place of scarcity when I remember to give mindfully each day."
• "Selflessness does not mean giving of myself to the extent that I am left depleted."

 Since finishing the book I've found a been more likely to give openly...sorting bags of compost and recyclables after an event, helping a lost dog find its way home, and in general offering my help where I can. Sometimes I don't believe love is what changes the world, instead just the actions it inspires.

Today I'm grateful for Cami Walker, 29 Gifts, and giving.

iLove

It's official, I'm in iLove. I have had my iPhone 4 for approximately one week, 1 day and 5 hours and I can't get enough of it. It does everything - unlock a zip car, scan an item, point out Saturn, and even serves as a compact to see if I have food stuck in my teeth. I thought the picture above highlighted well its sleek form and gentle curves. While I'm enjoying the honeymoon phase I'm also feeling a tad bit guilty about contributing to the consumerist culture that perpetuates using natural resources and creating more waste. So in order to feel less guilty (damn environmental ethics studies) I want to highlight the iPhone 4's shortcoming.

What it can't do is hug a tree, wash my dishes, or send love to all the earthquake victims in Japan. While I can donate money to them via texting on my phone or probably get an app to send them prayers, wouldn't be the same. Yup, it appears the good stuff (although a paper writing app would help) is still up to me, like loving.

Today I'm grateful for apps, iPhones, and love.

Thank you, thank you, and thank you!

Love this blog, takes gratitude to a whole new level:

http://thxthxthx.com/

Today I'm grateful for http://www.thxthxthx.com/!

Know(ledge)-it-all

To know something or to really know it. Since being in graduate school I feel like a “know-it-all” more like a “knowledge-it –all” actually. After so much reading and studying I have a head full of stuff. And stuff it is. Philosophy has been called the love of wisdom, jnana yoga if you will (if are familiar with terms from Sanskrit), and it’s certainly a labor of love. Sometimes I’m not so sure it’s wisdom at all, I think it’s only a part of it.


In a talk on Friday by one of the founders of my program and former head of CIIS Robert McDermott, he said wisdom was knowledge lifted to love. I love the way he put that it ac”knowledges” that love is limitless and knowledge as limited. In a competition if these two things could compete, I believe wisdom would win.

Robert also went into what he believes are the three parts of wisdom:
1. Metaphysics – what is? What’s real? A source
2. Epistemology – levels of knowledge, way of knowing
3. Ethics – action (need a philosophy for this)

I’ve been operating from knowledge since I began to become a philosopher and seem to have forgotten that my strength actually resides in wisdom. While I may not be entirely a “knowledge-it-all” I might just say I’m wise.;)

Today I'm grateful for Jamie, Matt, Sam, and Adam.

Ode to Dorothy

Last week I was kind of a wreck, which is why I can write about it now. I had a lot going on with school, working a lot, feeling overwhelmed by not being entirely moved in…just a lot. At one moment I was pacing the apartment building deciding whom in my building to ask for helping me move something. I never got the nerve to do it.

This morning Dorothy, my 97-year old neighbor asked me to ask someone to help her (did you follow that?). She was so comfortable requesting things from others she even asked me to do it for her!? That and the lady is adorable, she’s 97 for heaven’s sakes!? She alternates between calling me Becky, Betty, and Betsy. Sometimes she doesn’t even see me. Dorothy is able to give up what people think of her to ask for what she needs. Why can’t I follow her lead? This week I felt lonely. After feeling miserable for long enough I called a friend, funny thing was I couldn’t even ask for what I wanted them either. Just a hug.

When did I become so difficult to ask for what we need? I don’t feel weak, I’m more afraid of being a burden or others getting annoyed. Quite honestly when some people ask for a lot things I get perturbed (that word is much more fun to say than type). When I was moving I was so hesitant I wanted to pay people, one friend came over as I was attempting to move my couch by myself down the stairs. To know what we want and need is so powerful, when we don’t ask for it…our desires become unacknowledged and feel .

So why is so hard? To ask for a hug when you need it? To request help with something you can’t do alone? I’m not sure, but if Dorothy at 97 has gotten so comfortable with it, I hope I start soon. I don’t want to be a 97-year-old walking down three flights of stairs by myself.

Today I'm grateful for Dorothy, Betty, and Besy.

Honoring self vs. our word

I have a habit of doing everything I say I will, exhausting myself and then breaking down and needing to hide for a while. In Landmark I learned how important it is to honor what you say you will do. A lot of times we honor our moods or what we’re feeling, in a fleeting moment over our word. I’m learning the subtle difference between when a mood is controlling my reaction versus when it’s something my body really needs.


In Landmark Education they really stress that honoring your word is who you are. This was a major point of contention for me. Honoring the truth in a moment seems far more important. There’s a sutle difference between canceling plans because you’re not feeling “up to it” or “don’t feel like it.” It’s quite another when who you are at the core of you being needs something else. Yes, I’m certainly cautious with what and where I commit my energy, but I’m also learning that honoring myself far exceeds any words. Sometimes it means forcing myself to disappoint people I don’t want to let down. Call it my Saturn Return, call it exhaustion, maybe it's just my truth.

Today I'm grateful for words, evoking, and giving.