More hours of night = more light

Indeed summer is winding down, evidenced by more hours of darkness and kids at the bus stop. I have to say my summer was full, particularly the past few weeks. I have made quite an effort to do something new every week and lately every day. Here are some of my highlights: shuffleboard at Acacia Park, Pat Benetar in concert, giving away free hugs downtown by myself, quitting my job, Mile High Music Festival, trip to city where I lived in Germany, learning I was a master at hula hooping, setting a record with DDR at Mr. Biggs, going to Pups on the Patio at Nosh, Butterfly Pavilion, and my most powerful learning experience as of yet - letting several people out of my life whom I really love.

Although summer is ending, my days of light (enlightenment) are just beginning with a trip to Las Vegas, the city of eternal summer (parties). I'll be there for a week where I will stay with my high school friend Andrew and enjoy his pool and business savvy (mostly his pool). Then I leave Sept. 12 for Yogaville (yes, I give them only two points for name originality), an internationally recognized ashram (read as yoga and meditation retreat center) in Virginia near where I was born. I stay there for four or five weeks where I will do pretty much a mental detox (I fully expect one if not five mental breakdowns surrounding not making to do lists).

After that I'm home for a few weeks then leave for China with the family (I adore my Mom and Daddyo for taking me). Get back on Oct. 31, then the sky's the limit...several options I'm considering: winery, working at orphanage overseas, or living in the basement a bit longer. (Vague, I know. I am attempting to minimize much of my over planning tendencies.)

No, I don't have a lot money saved and yes, I am having another quarter-life crisis. Pretty much I'm ready to make a difference and want to experiment with other lifestyles (not those kind, necessarily) before committing to a new job or location.

Today I'm grateful for Shannon picking me up when I got locked out (again), pictures, and the DNC.

Becky the braless wonder

Just call me Becky the Braless Wonder, no really, I insist. I am making it a goal this week to wear a bra as few times as possible. If Posh can do it and keep her name and reputation, so can I! (My stipulations include when working out and if Prince William invites me to meet his mother - both of these instances require support without the risk of showing too much.) It is summer time, unless of course you live in the southern hemisphere, and a beauty of the warm weather going braless. In holding up to the true hippy I have decided this is an appropriate, and long overdue goal.

I am free, therefore my lovely A/B cups should be as well. My predictions: I will start hunching over to hide them, or throw away the rainbow assortment of brassieres I own.

Today I'm grateful for donuts, Volvic, and boot camp class (to kick my ass)!

Lady of leisure, sure

Yeah right! I am just as busy being unemployed as I was employed, just with different activities (besides my compulsive three times a day list making). I expected this, I have a tendency to plan my day by fifteen minute increments - not getting up and putting on panty hose or having an office hasn't changed this.

Today I: had an acupuncture appointment, cleaned my room, mowed the lawn, went for a run, cleaned out my closet, made lists, read, made two meals, and did laundry. I'm an action machine and I can't stop.

So, this is me, and I've always been a busy body. I love it. My largest nightmare right now revolves around not having post it notes and a pen.

Today I'm grateful for mowing the lawn, speaker phone, and trying new things.

My best idea EVER

Let us recap my first official day of retirement (or as I will fondly refer to as "My best idea ever"), the time is currently 11:59 and I just walked in the door from what can only be described as my first day living full-time:

I spent the early morning hours of my first Monday unemployed (er, um I mean retired) at a slumber party with one of my closest friends in Denver. We stayed up late watching stupid shows on MTV and complaining about boys.

As if this weren't fun enough I became a "lady who brunches" (and lunches, and whatever else fun to do with a meal) with a good friend from high school at Le Peep (insert lip smack here). After a rivoting meal complete with a smoothie and gooey buns I headed off to the Butterfly Pavilion in Westminster. I literally spent two hours watching butterflies do what they do best: fly and be beautiful.
Oh and it gets better...Hung out with my sister and played a wicked tennis match in the sweltering heat in our sports bras (yet again another grand excuse not to wear clothes, I love it). We were indeed a Swedish version of the Williams sisters. After being productive for an hour afterwards I headed over to Cold Stone near her house and had Cake Batter with rainbow sprinkles (this combination mentioned in an earlier post that explains my cupcake addiction) for dinner. Yes folks, dinner - because only the truly retired can get away with stuff like this without making ourselves feel guilty.

Once I watched children play in a nearby fountain while eating my ice cream I finished and bought a nice new yoga mat. I have wanted a new one for ages and wanted a purple one to match my third eye chakra (no comment here, just let me have my reasons). After staring at my new mat for several minutes I walked back to my car and took off for my Landmark Seminar, so conveniently titled "Living Passionately." (After my day today I'm confident I could design the course.)

Which brings me to this moment sitting at my computer sharing it with the World Wide Web and gearing up for another day of my best idea EVER.

Today I'm grateful for sisters, my car, and butterflies.

My journey begins today

And tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. Friday was my last day at my job and it was a mixture of emotion of excitement, sadness, and confusion (as is this post). At my Starbucks run I bought a mug on sale that says "My journey begins today." (How appropriate, and reaffirming that Starbucks does love me.)

Life seems to go in three or four year phases and my desire for change seems to follow that pattern. After four years of security with a job I enjoyed and great people work with I'm embarking on my first (of many) adventures. I feel the same way I did after college...there are so many different paths I can take and having so much freedom can feel really overwhelming. Literally I can do anything, so what do I choose?

I was really touched by how many people bought me gifts, said goodbye and left me with kind words. I want to look and move forward, but also want to acknowledge the past and grieve the change. No matter how much things change in my life I'm realizing how important it is for me to allow myself a grieving process, even if I don't want to deal with it. Leaving a job working with people I really care about is no different.

But each time I get scared or confused I remind myself that everyday begins a new journey, not just after a big change. Each journey and experience leads me exactly where I need to be.

Today I'm grateful for my sister's baking, Olympics, and love.

Capt. cha!

Saw this Web site on Kym's blog (who apparently saw it on another friend's page) and I love it. Am considering using it as a mandatory dating test as well (homonym mix-ups drive me batty), as if I don't already have enough of those!?

What's so great is that I have passed it everytime I've tried, unlike normal captcha, which I pass about one in every five. (Who came up with that word anyway "captcha", there are so many different ways of pronouncing it?)

http://www.defectiveyeti.com/iacaptchas/

All hail Madonna

Indeed the Material Girl has completely motivated me this week.** Madonna's myriad songs (please remember, not to use "of" after myriad, EVER - it's improper usage. Okay, I'm done with my grammar lesson of the day) have many different effects on me.

They either:
a) put me in the mood ("Erotica"),
b) make me want to dance like a crazy ("Vogue"), or
c) make me have the sudden urge to do karoake (as in the case of "Beautiful Stranger." Long story short, drunk in Paris doing karoake, after finishing finals and making out with a hot French man).

This photo is in homage to feeling powerful and sexy, two things I don't feel as often as I want to, especially not lately. Like a lot of smart women I get incredibly discombobulated (I've been searching for a reason to use that word all week) when it comes to men. Somehow I stop using logic and allow myself to get scared of someone not wanting me around anymore and leaving. As if by them leaving my whole world will fall apart. I can even feel the switch when I go from healthy, independent Becky to feeling sick and needy. This isn't me, it tends to happen when I realize I really care for someone and see a future I'm not willing to let go of.

I'm not berating myself here, just reminding myself (and hopefully you, if you're in a similar position) that when we sell ourselves short, it's time to up the price. (Wow, that totally sounds like I'm promoting prostitution.)

Okay, back to Madonna and how she put me back on track. Her song "Express Yourself" has lyrics that knocked my socks off and this was the first time I truly heard them. Picture this I'm walking to my acupuncture appointment listening to my iPod on shuffle and I hear:

"You deserve the best in life,
So if the time isn't right then move on,
Second best is never enough,
You'll do much better baby on your own."

It was as if the heavenly mother Madonna herself knew the yucky situation I have put myself in. Allow me to explain briefly without the gory, yucky details: I'm crazy about someone (who used to be crazy about me), who now has a girlfriend and continues to talk to me and interact in a way that leads me to believe he still wants to be with me. How did I get here? When did I forget what I deserved?

All hail Madonna the Like a Virgin Queen for her heavenly insight (as well as the three other people who told me in person to move on and I didn't listen).

(**Note to reader, this blog is very personal and leaving me very vulnerable, if you're not prepared for this kind of emotional intimacy with me, please stop here.)

Today I'm grateful for my iPod, my soon to be PDA, and tough love to get me back on track.

The magic of 8!

Ah yes, the magic of 8, or should I say Magic 8 Ball? Who didn't own one of these fantastic advice givers (after Dear Abby lost her charm)? (Why do I continue to begin this post with questions? Is it the Magic 8 Ball charm?)

Today, as many of you know is 8-8-08. A holiday that isn't really a holiday, but should be. (Although a calendar I own does say it is National Sneak Some Zucchini onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night. Thank goodness I don't think any of my neighbors even know what zucchini is.) It is however a sacred day for many other cultures and spiritual paths. Below are several significances I am aware of (and a few I wasn't):

MATHMATICS AND SCIENCE
-Symbol for infinity.
-There are eight known B vitamins that play important roles in cell metabolism.
-All spiders, and more generally all arachnids, have eight legs. An octopus has eight tentacles.
-As of 2006, in our solar system, eight of the bodies orbiting the Sun are considered to be planets. (I am a proud member of the Facebook group "When I was your age Pluto was a planet.")

RELIGION:
-In Christianity, it is allegoric to Christ's sacrifice on the cross.
-In Neopaganism, there are eight Sabbats, festivals, seasons, or spokes in the Wheel of the Year.
-Hanukkah is an eight-day Jewish holiday.
-The Noble Eightfold Path in the Buddhist faith has eight steps.

ASTROLOGY & SUPERSTITION :
-In the middle ages, 8 was the number of "unmoving" stars in the sky, and symbolized the perfectioning of incoming planetary energy.
-In tarot, card No. 8 is "Strength"
-In numerology, 8 is the number of building, and in some theories, also the number of destruction.

THE ARTS:
-There are eight notes in an octatonic scale.
-Songs with the number eight in their title include the Byrds's Eight Miles High and the Beatles' Eight Days a Week.


SPORTS & GAMING:
-Eight ball billiards is played with 15 balls; the black ball numbered 8 being the most important one.
-In chess, each side has eight pawns

IN CHINA:
-The Eight Immortals are Chinese deities
-War of the Eight Princes, was a war in Chinese history
-Eight is considered a lucky number in Chinese culture because it sounds like the word "prosper" or "wealth.

So now the only question that remains...do I celebrate this holiday? For this I consult the Magic 8 Ball..."Signs point to yes." Thank you Mr. Magic, thank you.

Today I'm grateful for the number 8, classical music, and Kelly Clarkson.

I "tri"ed

This weekend I did my first triathlon (sprint one, not ironman - don't be too impressed). All in all it was a stupendous time, although any excuse not to wear a ton of clothes usually is. Adrenaline and heat were intense. Other than that, just an ordinary swim, bike, run...with 3,000 other people.

By far the highlights of the event were my falls - not once, but twice. I realize it takes quite a bit of talent to do it twice in the same event. I would like to thank my ill-equipped hybrid bike and my lame-o long shoelaces, and I also acknowledgeI am the cause of my stumbles and falls (just like always).

It was quite embaressing and took everything I had to stand up again, both times. Worst part was I felt tears welling up in my eyes, but I couldn't cry! You can't cry during a triathlon! (I believe that is rule 543.) So I got up and continued as if nothing happened whilest my knees, hands and ego bruised and bled.

All the while I kept thinking of the Confucious quote, "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising everytime we fall." (Seriously though, who doesn't think about ancient Chinese philosophers during long bike rides?)

In the end my time wasn't so great, but I finished in one piece (minus several large chunks of skin of course). I had no idea what to expect, or how I would do and in the end...but I at least I "tri"ed...and in this case rocked!

Today I'm grateful for bandaids, Bactine, and my bike.