Loving Bhakti Yoga

Bhakti Yoga is the form of yoga dedicated to creating loving devotion for the divine. Expressions of this type of yoga come from song, chanting, prayer, and for some, like Rumi, writing poetry. Listening to my Gift of Love CD with Deepak Chopra and others citing Rumi songs and I can't help but be turned on.  Below is one of my favorite Rumi poems. Like Rumi, we long for unity with the divine not having tasted it fully and wanting more:

Bittersweet
In my hallucination
I saw my beloved's flower garden
In my vertigo, in my dizziness
In my drunken haze
Whirling and dancing like a spinning wheel

I saw myself as the source of existence
I was there in the beginning
And I was the spirit of love
Now I am sober
There is only the hangover
And the memory of love
And only the sorrow

I yearn for happiness
I ask for help
I want mercy
And my love says:
Look at me and hear me
Because I am here
Just for that

I am your moon and your moonlight too
I am your flower garden and your water too
I have come all this way, eager for you
Without shoes or shawl

I want you to laugh
To kill all your worries
To love you
To nourish you

Oh sweet bitterness
I will soothe you and heal you
I will bring you roses
I, too, have been covered with thorns

This desire for romantic love on a physical level, made of hormones and pheromnes, becomes the telos of life and an illusion on the spiritual level. When my procreation urge becomes strong it’s also signal to turn to my bhakti yoga. Thinking of romantic love as chemicals in the brain isn't romantic, but it certainly makes  for a nice distraction when I don't meditate.;) When we are nourished by something larger than our desires we allow the divine to enter and give us exactly what we crave.

Today I'm grateful for Rumi, bhakti yoga, and Coleman Barks.

Mind the body

Last week I felt sick - mentally and physically. I had chest pain, shortness of breath, headache, nausea, dizziness, and overall malaise. After a trip to the emergency room and being told I had hyperventilation episodes, my body continued to tell me something was wrong. Turns out I had carbon monoxide poisoning for a week and assumed my illness was all in my head. What a relief things didn't get worse and I am still here to write about it. The dangers of living in old buildings - good with earthquakes, not so good with gas leaks...

My body screams at me when something is wrong and I have begun to despise its loudness. Then I realized it screams because I don't listen. Since I was a child I've had a "sensitive constitution," Ayurveda philosophy considers it vata energy and water element in Traditional Chinese Medicine. I don't like to be in my body, as Beethoven used to say of his illness, "That green monster, my dreadful health." (I'm writing a paper about him and was hoping to just now inspire myself to finish it.)

Many times I've exclaimed how I wish I didn't have a body, I avoid having to be in it by not eating a lot or ignoring it. In general pretending my existence is based in my head and soul. Our bodies can be a source of pleasure or pain, and sometimes both. Having a body allows us to enjoy life and at the same time reminds us of our humanity. Maybe that's why I get frustrated; sometimes I want to be more than human. However, to avoid the body is to avoid the existence of my life in this world. Suggestions on bringing myself back to Earth, from my acupuncturist (who's amazing by the way):

-eating foods rich in Earth element
-surrounding myself with symbols of Earth
-being in nature
-having a body-mind practice
-noticing sensations in my body
-conscious exercising
-eating consciously

So here I go again minding the body, and not just my mind.

Today I'm grateful for body, mind, and soul.

Here comes the sun

Winter solstice marks the longest night of the year and I wouldn't be a good hippie without paying homage to the star who lights up my life. Ahem, although it isn't just the solstice on Dec. 21, this auspicious time also includes a lunar eclipse full moon and Ursids meteor shower. How's that for a show of stars?

The lunar eclipse feature's our shadow (Earth) falling a cast over the moon. Moon, sun, and Earth come into alignment...A balance of sun and moon. Where the opposites that govern existence come into balance for moments of time and gives of the chance to reconnect with what ancestors upon ancestors marveled at before the TV lit up our lives.

With winter solstice nature tells us the light can be switched back on and we can come out of our caves and enjoy the next phase of the seasons. Some suggest Seasonal Affective Disorder has been around for a long time as the cold months were a type of depression associated with less food and fear that the sun may not return. Or maybe the universe made no mistakes in making several stars and planets particularly bright to remind us of what's yet to come if we keep patient. As joy follows sorrow...Shakespeare said in Macbeth, "Darkness has its uses." Agreed William, however, here comes the sun.

Today I'm grateful for sun, moon, and stars.

Creative-Type Designs

After years of designing t-shirts on the privacy of my own laptop, I'm ready to release my silly designs to computers everywhere. The creativity of our world, Earth, and other planets continues to inspire me! Behold my own shop at CafePress (a Premium shop I might add):

www.cafepress.com/CreativeTypeDesigns

Today I'm grateful for Darrin, creativity, and being home!

Love is a "synching" feeling

I get skin hungry a lot, and spooning usually does the trick. When I say this it isn't so much in a sexual way (although let's be honest that happens), as a way to express my desire for bonding with others physically. Finally a book that makes me feel not so freakish. Susan Kuchinskas' book "The Chemistry of Connection" talks about oxytocin and why we need it to be a healthy, loving individual.

I've stopped seeing oxytocin as this "devil" hormone that  makes me attached to men I don't want to be and instead using it as a way to bond with people I truly care about (only a few of them men). The hormone serves a major function in being a mammal and our emotional limbic system, a part of me I have learned to love more than I thought possible. When our limbic systems synch with others causing similar breath patterns and heart beats, we bond and this bonding releases endorphins.


Several ways suggested in the book to boost the hormone levels of oxytocin:
-Sing in a choir
-Pet a cat or dog
-Hug a friend
-Sing in a choir (syncs up limbic systems)
-Have sex (that was a no-brainer)
-Cuddle Therapy (my friend Travis Sigley started a great group in SF)
-Exercising

Babies need this hormone as a way to live so they can synch up with their parents, particularly mothers. Harnessing the power of this hormone makes loving easier, and as a mammal I always enjoy that "synching" feeling.

Today I'm grateful for library, working computer, and going home soon!

East Bay Church of Religious Science

I have an aversion to “churches” and much prefer places that call themselves “spiritual communities” to acknowledge all faiths as pointing towards one source of divinity. However, there are “churches” and then there’s East Bay Church of Religious Science. I have attended Science of Mind communities for several years and through them found my way back to religion and spiritual communities, if you can call Science of Mind that. I gave Mile Hi Church in Denver a chance before moving and it moved me in a way I had never felt before. There’s something about large groups of people singing in unison about peace and love that gets me every time. East Bay Church doesn’t just “get” me…it thrills me. So much soul in that congregation I get teary each time I attend a “celebration” there.

It’s in Oakland and I’m one of the few white people and I love it. The choir sings like a gospel about the truth of life itself, not just Jesus Christ (whom is only mentioned when discusses other avatars of our planet). Every now and then people yell out things about “thank you” and “I love you.” I LOVE THIS CHURCH, four words I never thought I would say since I was told my father was going to hell during my time at Christian camp (I cried for a week and when he came to visit made him cry with my pleas). And I mean every word. East Bay Church of Religious Science with Rev. Elouise Oliver doesn't have science or religion...just heart.

Today I'm grateful for EBCRS,  Science of Mind, and Ernest Holmes.

The Naked Granny Clause

So I am taking an improv class (#40 on my Life List) at EndGames Improv...and it's wonderful. I get cheered on by acting like an idiot.  I'm delighted to realize my desire to say inappropriate things and be awkward suits me well in certain instances, improv being one (and I still haven't discovered the other if it exists). The name of my new group is "The Naked Granny Clause." To explain that title would be like explaining why my neighbor tells me when he is gasy - it makes no sense and that's why it's so great. The fellow "players" are really nice and equally awkward and kind, needless to say I adore them.

Although it is months away, I'm already getting anxious about my final performance. Not so sure I really want to display my cursing and apple imitations for others to see...

Today I'm grateful for improv, Black Swan tonight, and umbrellas.

Eyes as windows into universal soul

(Warning to reader, I will be using a lot of exclamation points and interjections as this topic excites me a lot and I'm having a difficult time expressing it.)

A few weeks ago I presented for class about the evolution of eyes and it really inspired me to think more about this magic gift of sight. (I also love it when I can inspire myself!?) It’s unbelievable, really. The earliest fossil form of an eye was found 500,000,000 (I typed this out so you can fully appreciate how long ago that actually is) on a trilobite. It was more like a “light sensitive spot” that could see light and know where it is without seeing forms. The beauty of these early eyes was that they were made of mineral calcite (the most stable form of calcium carbonate). Another way of putting this might also be that the universe wanted so badly to see it was trying to see through rock.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it…incredible!!?? Our eyes have been the way they are now - aqueous eyes as they are called, being made up of 99% water - for 200,000 years. That’s a lot of change in (you do the math) number of years to go from rock to water eyes!!??

Why do we even have eyes? There are evolutionary advantages to survival and being able to see...If you really think about more philosophically - our eyes allow the universe to see itself. Through us it continues to see the maginificence of its creation. Brian Swimme points to the idea that as the universe is continually evolving, so are we…and therefore our eyes. I like to wonder what it would the future holds for sight? Maybe a full circle of darkness? Or sight through our third eye? Only time will tell and in the meantime allow us access into universal soul.

Today I'm grateful for school, research, and PowerPoints (and apparently being a nerd).

Bottled water

By far one of my worst not-good-for-the-environment habit is drinking bottle water. The water in SF has Chloramin...a combination of chlorine and ammonia that makes me feel yucky. So yes, I filter my water, but then have the temptation to buy when my favorite bottles get dirty. I want to do better and until we see ourselves as an identity and extension of Earth and entire cosmos we don't understand how it hurts us not to take care of it. Thank goodness Green Planet Beverages now makes me feel less guilty.

www.greenplanetbeverages.com

It's not just our name. It's our mission.

Green Planet wants to make a difference. We aren't interested in simply being another bottled water company. What we are interested in is being a bottled water company that helps create a better world for our kids. And their kids. And so on. Our bottles are made from plants, not petroleum. So they're good for the planet and the 6.8 billion people who call it home. Not only are they recyclable and commercially compostable, they don't have BPA or leach chemicals into the water.

Today I'm grateful for bottled water, filters, and water!!