Give and Take

I did something I've never done before this week, I went to the ATM to give money to a stranger. Her leg was bleeding and wrapped in bandages and she said I was the first person who stopped to see if she needed help. I choked back tears and heard her story of trying to get out of the state away from her abusive husband. She asked if I would stand on the sidewalk with her and advocate for domestic violence victims. When I reached into my purse to get my cell phone, she told me she didn’t want my money and instead to just listen or if she could work for me. In California women can only stay in shelters for a short period of time and she needed to leave.

She didn't ask me for money and so I felt deeply compelled to give. We began walking and I listened to her talk about her 13-year old son and how she had been married for almost two years before the abuse began a long time ago. It had only recently gotten worse. I asked how much the ticket was she wanted to buy. We continued walking and I stopped abruptly at an ATM and gave her the amount it would cost for she and her son to get to Nevada.

I handed her the money and she started crying, then I cried and she hugged me and I walked away with my Ray Bans covering my tears. Before heading home to get her son she asked for my email so that she could contact me when she arrived. I wrote it down and said a silent prayer she would remember. Her pain felt so real that I felt bruised. If she was lying I realized it didn't even matter. We answer our truth when it calls and I can't be responsible for hers, only what feels right to me.

Giving and taking (also more commonly described by receiving) is common sense in a community. And so is asking for help. I gave and took from that experience and from her. I felt good knowing I could make a difference and again was left with the guilt of privilege and wondering how I have what I have. This weekend I felt so blessed to have wonderful friends to help me move, they gave to me and now fortunately I was able to give to this woman. Maybe it isn't that simple.

What did I do to deserve this life full of some magic and perfection? Why do I have all my needs met and she can hardly survive? Where do I even find answers to such questions? The mystery of life begins with these questions, and in some cases ends with them as well. Some spiritual traditions speak of karma from past lives forming our current experience. Some believe it's without a belief in God, or an illness of the mind. I don't think there's an answer. We hear of the experiments where people start off with the same large sum of money and end up with nothing again. I think it's an illness of the heart - of forgetting our worth. I want to believe despite circumstances everyone can heal and grow and become who they were meant to be.

Some people ask for help, and sometimes we ask them what we can give - the beautiful blend of give and take.

Last Straw

This weekend I went to a "soft" opening for a new carnival-themed restaurant. It took me for quite a ride! I had amazing FREE bechamel, walnut, apple sandwich and a salad. There were carnival games and kitschy decorations to admire while I chowed down. They have gluten-free and vegan (very non-carnival of them) menus as well for those of you who take "carnivore" out of "carnival." It says "Step Right Up" on the doorstep, as if it could get any cuter. Some of the specialties include: truffle popcorn, orange blossom cotton candy, and lavendar lemonade popsicles...yummy and without the sickness from riding the roller coaster (speaking from personal experience) or fear of plunging to one's death on poorly assembled contraptions.

Today I'm grateful for food, free food, and free.

Out with the old and in with the new!

Out with the old and in with the new! So far 2011 has been so much more than a new year. I have a new job, a new apartment, new semester, new improv performance, and even a new toothpaste. How much crazier can this year get? Incidentally the newness is already wearing off and I'm craving some familiarity...This year has already changed so much about my life, I'm excited to see what's to come! And maybe even a little bit of in with the old!

Today I'm grateful for new, old, and everything in between.

His+Her=Hir

One of my professors using the pronoun "hir" instead of  differentiating between "his" or "her." Another example of the fact we don't have language that describes our world accurately. Only two genders, when it has become increasingly obvious more than two exist and are a reality of our physical world. I would actually prefer to use this made-up word than the improper usage of "their" in this sort of context. Example below:
"The student brought their notebook to class." (insert cringe here for non-agreement of subjects)
"The student brought hir notebook to class."

I think I also like this rendition of old pronouns because it does end up sounding like "her" anyway and implying feminity. Should you use "her", "his", "their", or "hir", it matters more if that you are even aware enough of the fact there are options. Now if people would stop messing up "their" and "there" we might actually get somewhere...(says the snobby grammarian)

Today I'm grateful for new classes, keys to my new apartment, and productivity.

On the Tim Ferriss wheel

A few nights ago I saw Tim Ferriss at the Commonwealth Club. I've had a slight crush on him for several years since reading "Four-Hour Work Week." His ideas speak clearly to yearning people have for more time to spend on things they care about and less time at work. His newest book, "The 4-Hour Body," (I'm ignoring Chicago Style that dictates "4" be "Four") has again renewed my adoration.

The book even has an entire section on the female orgasm, granted it's about a technique from OneTaste used as a meditation, I applaud his efforts for focusing on female pleasure as a part of health. While I don't plan on sleeping four hours a night (as a section of his book discusses), I am excited to sit down and read more about his suggestions/findings. As someone who enjoys trying new things, I appreciate Tim (first name basis now that I've asked him a question in front of hundreds of people) and all he does to provide people the life they desire, while sometimes doing things that seem ridiculous.

During the interview, he struck me as kind-hearted and even quoted Thoreau (hello, fellow philosopher). I'm enjoying being the Tim Ferriss wheel and am excited to see what else he decides to do. If it includes a four-hour relationship, that might be something I could actually handle!?

Today I'm grateful for four hours, Tim Ferriss, and living in SF.

No Pants Day

What an incredible day – not wearing pants. I religiously celebrate Naked Sundays (sometimes half naked depending on how cold my apartment is), this was right up my alley. The 10th Annual No Pants on BART day. Started in NYC by an improv group…
I arrived at Civic Center and saw no one else in their underwear, or they probably were in them I just couldn’t see it. Then I spotted a gal with a long jacket and a pantless dog (as in bottoms not a way of breathing. I asked if she was celebrating the holiday. Indeed she was and we traveled to Powell station were we joined the underwear mob (after I took off my pants of course).

So there I was in Union Square station headed into the mall where security guards tried to halt the group of crazies (myself included). No such luck, the group went in and I joined, then felt guilty about their helplessness and left shortly thereafter. I enjoyed my pantless day/hour.

New Year's Re"solution"

My first post in 2011, my what a busy year it has been so far! I'm doing something different this year for my New Year's resolutions. I accept there are things about myself worth focusing on and other things...well, I can only do so much. My friend Jamie and I are commited to radical honesty in 2011.

For me "radical communication" seems more appropriate. I'm not going to just say whatever is on my mind presuming it's the truth. Nor am I going to say everything I think - I have this tendency and realize the guy I'm dating doesn't need to know every single crazy thing running through my brain. Here's what it is in a nutshell:

Communication that is direct, complete, open and expressive. Radical Honesty means you tell the people in your life what you've done or plan to do, what you think, and what you feel. It's the kind of authentic sharing that creates the possibility of love and intimacy.

Bringing hidden meanings of discussions and actions into the verbal realm solves many misunderstandings. I want people in my life to know they're hearing the authentic me. That my actions and words align. My solution to everything in 2011? Radical honesty.

Today I'm grateful for new job, new apartment and on my one year anniversary with SF!!!