Back at the wheel!

The potter's wheel that is! After a year since falling in love with the feeling of wet clay between my fingers I now have some studio time that is all mine! I'm really excited to get my hands dirty in shaping new creations. So rarely do people find forms of art that speak to them so perfectly and my Skeletor hands are good for playing the piano and apparently also throwing pottery on a wheel. Who knew? Well, I do now!

Today I'm grateful for my job, crushes, and the truth.

Weird weekends

I know a quintessential SF weekend this past weekend.The type of weekend that can only happen in an adult playground like Man Fran. Friday I went to a talk about philosophy, not so odd besides the fact that I'm a huge nerd. Saturday was where it went from strange to bizarre. The day began with a simple brunch with my friend Victor and continued with an outdoor Flashdance Party (www.flashdance.org) and then a cuddle puddle. A cuddle puddle that was actually a birthday party in an area above a yoga studio with massage tables, live music, a tepee, and rope swing. At 4 a.m. I wandered home with a friend from a writing class and stayed up til 5 wondering if this sort of thing happens anywhere besides SF or Burning Man.

Today I wandered over to Folsom Street Fair and only lasted 20 minutes before becoming so overwhelmed I had to leave and go to the Zen Garden at school. All the porn, leather, and whips were too much. Mostly because between Burning Man and Folsom Street Fair I have seen enough male genitalia to last me a lifetime (possibly two). And quite honestly, S&M really isn't my thing...go figure, I would rather be in a cuddle puddle.

Today I'm grateful for cuddling, making out, and  Zen Gardens.

"Fall"ing on a full moon

Today's Autumnal Equinox also happens to "fall" on a full moon...auspicious indeed and ready for all sorts of bad puns on my part! This equinox leads us into the darkness of fall. It's a time of harvest, reaping our rewards and recognizing the inward change manifesting in the changing of the season and trees (not that that actually happens a lot in SF). Reap the past seeds and also sow for the future. A time for letting go of shedding skin and the old things that no longer serve us. Yesterday when I was teaching yoga I couldn't help but continue with the dorky changing references by doing butterfly pose, focusing on cobra pose, and of course the autumn classic - tree pose.

Today I'm grateful for fall, yoga, and cute boys who work in the cafe at school.

Bhangra

If I haven't told you how much I like Bhangra then I probably don't like you. Because I like it a lot, so much in fact my fav thing in SF (besides Cups and Cakes Bakery) is Non-stop Bhangra at the Rickshaw Stop. There's something about the way Bhangra feels when jumping around for joy, a true dance of celebration and I can't help but grin like an idiot. Every third Saturday for $15 at the door (a very small price to pay for the joy that ensues), you can enjoy a dance lesson and get sweaty with a bunch of strangers bouncing around to bhangra. With each foot farther into the dance floor the temperature rises at least 10 degrees and the sweat drips more and more steadily. It's exhausting (I don't dare sit down and feel my legs burn), smelly, and loud. None of this bothers me...because I would rather dance with a bunch of sweaty strangers to bhangra music than just about anything else in the world.

Today I'm grateful for bhangra, courage, and sun saluations.

After the Storm

There are some songs that the first time you hear them you can't help but be moved to tears...I have three of those and this is one of them "After the Storm" by Mumford & Sons:

And after the storm,
I run and run as the rains come
And I look up, I look up,
on my knees and out of luck,
I look up.

Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay
But I won't rot, I won't rot
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won't rot.


And I took you by the hand
And we stood tall,
And remembered our own land,
What we lived for.


And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.


And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true
But oh no more.
That's why I hold,
That's why I hold with all I have.
That's why I hold.
I will die alone and be left there.
Well I guess I'll just go home,
Oh God knows where.
Because death is just so full and mine so small.
Well I'm scared of what's behind and what's before.


And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.
And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

Today I'm grateful for SoundCloud, road trips, and Intro to PCC class.

Alone in the dark

That’s exactly how I spent my Wednesday night at Opaque: Dining in the Dark (a restaurant in pitch black with blind servers for those of you who haven't heard). It was supposed to be a celebration dinner with a friend of mine for surviving Burning Man. She wasn’t able to make it I went all by my lonesome. I was nervous to go, not knowing what to expect or if I really had the gusto to get gussied up for a nice meal without anyone to go with. I sat there alone, in the dark and realized no one knew I was alone, or even was there at all.

I felt oddly exposed even in the darkness (I think mostly because I decided to eat topless halfway through my meal). I also put the rose petals from the table on top of my head and chewed with my mouth open and picked my nose…just because I could. Hard to believe such darkness that even with my eyes open it was just as black as if they were shut. I couldn’t participate in the “normal” eating alone activities such as reading or fiddling on my phone. Instead, I happily munched away at my l’amuse bouche (that word still conjures up images of the late nineties band La Bouche) and a free glass of champagne (I think the server took pity on me) and listened. There was a large party of retirees to my left and a couple to my right. It could have been a depressing meal and instead I meditated on every bite and every sound. I sensed when someone walked past and even before my server spoke up to announce my next course I knew he was there. The food was better than I expected and my mouth is still watering from the sweet curry sauce on my salmon.  The server bumped into my table several times before dessert and even came and sat with me for a bit. He was only one who knew I was there at all.

When I finished my last amazing bite of bittersweet chocolate cake with mint I sat quietly before being lead out of the dark and into the light. It was a metaphor for life (as everything in life is and my Joseph Campbell class reminded me). I was willing to go into the darkness and my own shadow…alone. No one even knew I was there unless I decided to let it be known. Sitting alone in the dark I still felt full of light. My reward for going into the depths - a delicious piece of chocolate cake!?

Today I'm grateful for money, light, and darkness.

PBMS

Similar to PMS, PBMS affects the Burning Man with equal propensity. I experienced PFS (post festival syndrome) after the film festivals...it's the feeling of a build up for an important even that culminates and then leaves you feeling lonely and life as anti-climatic. It has been sucking at my vitality for an entire week since I have been back from Burning Man. Reminding me yet again the nature of our minds to be excited about something and then feel so let down once it ends...a relationship, a wedding, a vacation, a job, etc.

I'll show you PBMS, I will not only still be excited about my life back in normalcy...I will also begin planning for next year's Burning Man.;)

Today I'm grateful for Mercury Cafe, last minute plans, and lots o' sunshine!

A"muse"d

My mum has this fun habit of buying me books and other things she thinks I will like. She was spot on with this book...the author is even a conjunct professor at my school!? It talked about the value of remembering the muses of ancient Greece and using them as inspiration for our creativity. I was so a"muse"d I even decoupaged (a lost art in my opinion) my bulletin board frame with themes from each of the muses. This post serves no other purpose other than to reinforce how much my parents know me and that I am in the right place at CIIS! A wonderful feeling to be known and to know!

Today I'm grateful for Body Balance, free Internet, and Bus 14.

Playing on the Playa )'(

After six days as a cavewoman (complete with dreads and dusty skin to match), I’m back in the real world with a new appreciation for the fantastic ride called Burning Man. Man, first name Burning, welcomed me with 90 degree weather that progressively became 100 and dusty by week’s end.  So many words can describe my experience of awe at Burning Man (BM for short)…awesome, awful, awakening, and even awkward. I had a dance party on a yellow submarine, made out with more boys than I can count, went on a five story high teeter totter topless, applied for a soulmate, and worked at a kissing booth. There were Mutant Vehicles of all shapes and sizes, people with clothes on and clothes off, magical camps full of creativity and interactive art that allowed me to become what I admire. My most memorable moment was with a group of my campmates staring up at the night sky admiring the thousands of visible stars and the rising of the moon.


With no clocks I learned to stare at my shadow and where the moon was in the sky. Without the Internet I relied upon others for information. Without a phone I was in constant communication via notes or going back to camp. Without a bus or car I rode my bike across the dust. Within days at Burning Man I became a primal being again forgetting the madness that awaits just hours away in the nearest large city of Reno.At the end of the week I emerged as myself (with a bit of Coordinatrix and Cavewoman on the side).

Burning Man symbolizes the transient, and in my case instinctual fleeting, nature of life. As divine beings we recognize also our deep connection to the rhythms of life and ourselves we forget easily in the chaos of modern life. I got all of these reminders and more just by taking a week to play on the playa.;)

Today I'm grateful for Cosmicopia, Paul, and Burning Man.

Burning up

By the time this post shows up I will be at Burning Man. I have an idea of what expect, realizing it will most likely be far different from anything in my wildest imagination. It has been on my life list (see link to the left) for quite some time and I'm thrilled it's coming to fruition with such a beautiful group of people. For many moons, (sounds like something would say at Burning Man) we have been planning for this week. For many suns, I have been actively organizing as the camp "Coordinatrix" (Trixie for short). The time has come to embark on a mind bending, body-altering experience like none other. I'm certain my life will never be the same after this week, for better or for worse. I have never before packed for a trip with a dusk mask, baby wipes, and fake fur coat. This week will be awful and awesome and I'm ready for it all! Come find me if you're there - Camp Cosmicopia at 7:15 D!

Today I'm grateful for dusk mask, baby wipes, and fake fur coat.