Universing with ERIC

I'm a blogger for the Environmental Research and Innovation Center, here's my latest post:

Universing
by Becky Farrar, Creative-Type, Treehugger, and Yogini, www.beckyfarrar.com

Since the beginning of time humans have wanted to know what place we hold in the great mystery of existence. The way we orient ourselves in the universe, our cosmology, dictates how we relate to ourselves and our planet. Our language seems to defy wisdom in its inability to communicate this key relationship. English reflects a cosmology of separation and unchanging statisticity. Our words create the world we live in and ours have become outdated.
One of my favorite professors (I have many) is Brian Swimme who points out in Cosmic Conversations that recent scientific discoveries of the universe are incompatible with the mentality humans had when English was invented and shaped. We have amazing insights and yet no way to talk about them. Our words lack an unfolding necessary to describe how we were created and continue to evolve as a species. The difficulty gets more...er, difficult when we attempt to talk about the universe. We use the article "the" to describe an object, as something outside of ourselves. It’s not until we see ourselves as the Earth and as the universe that we can truly care about this perceived “other.” We must identify ourselves as a part of the universe, not separate from it, if we are to really have a reason to care for it. It's the difference between gazing at the fuzzy place of stars in the night sky and saying, "oh, there's the Milky Way," and instead realizing it is us gazing at the horizon of ourselves as a vast galaxy.
In English there are eight parts of speech — noun, adverb, adjective, verb, adverb, conjunction, preposition, and interjection, in case you needed a review. Here's the kicker, over half of the word in English are nouns — the largest percentage of any other language. Our language has no space for processing and evolving the way verbs allow us and the way previous cultures and other languages did and do. Many Native American and even Romance languages have a way of unifying the person and action as a way to have of be-ing in the world as opposed to a thinker thinking about objects and things. Without acknowledgement of consistent change we become attached to things/matter/objects. Simply put, our language complicates our way of truly relating to our place in the universe and Earth.
Many Eastern traditions have been comfortable with this orientation of themselves as universe. With this orientation of relationship a subject-object relationship can’t exist. The industrial Western civilization lacks an orientation that supports a relationship to ourselves as more than just humans, and in a lot of cases, consumers and Earth-dwellers. In creating a new cosmology also comes a new way of speaking about the mystery of life. It’s time for a new language — one that reflects our deep connection with all of existence and reminds us of who we truly are as cosmic beings. Clifford Matthews, a professor of chemistry at the University of Illinois said the best way to sum up what we know now about the universe is, “We are all made of stardust.” This conclusion is recent and an incredible discovery to realize we came from the stars. Every molecule in our bodies at one time was a part of the vast expanse we call the cosmos. Science has been used for creating many incredible technologies, but what it has the capability to do is put us in awe of all of life. To be in wonder and amazement is quite an experience we as humans can all appreciate. To reflect upon the world and cosmos we live in and be awed by it. In this moment we are 13.7 billions years in the making, something certainly worth celebrating.
We are each cosmic beings, not just human beings. Knowing what we know now through science we can create a cosmology that reflects this knowledge and can begin a new way of existing as humans that bring us into alignment with not only our planet, but the entire cosmos. I recently heard the authors of The New Universe and the Human Future, Nancy Ellen Abrams and Joel Primack, speak and I think they sum this up quite perfectly with telling us to “Eat locally, act globally, and think cosmically.” There really isn’t any other way to be a part of this beautiful experience of universing.

Rules of dating

I’m a rule follower and proud of it.  When someone gives me rules, I’m Kantian in that I will follow then. Makes me great student, and also slightly  neurotic when it comes to dating. Turns out even for the best rule followers, rules can be exhausting. I'm so tired of following rules, especially the self-imposed ones. I do it all the time. Sometimes I make rules for the day before I even get out of bed (apparently yes, I am that happy-go-lucky). The rules of dating I find to be the most ridiculous. I've read soooooo many books, I figure there must be something I am missing. Why else would there be so many books if there weren't a ton of information needed in order to date successfully. Like any ambitious woman who likes to take control of her life, I have to prepare.

However, all the dating rules, and expectations really just support us not being okay with being in the uncertainty in the beginning of relationships. Myself included. I believe if I can read enough books, get enough advice, then magically it will work out. As if there’s a set formula for success. The books help us somehow cope with the uncertainty -  believing if we have more knowledge we can then “figure out” how to make it work. That’s the funny thing, I know I could be happy with a lot of people... especially maybe if I do everything by the book: be a lady, don’t ask about where things are going, don’t talk about sex, don’t talk about politics, don’t stalk him if he hasn’t called. I get it – have my own life and don’t make it revolve around him. Where in these rules do I get to stand up for myself and demand what I want without breaking the rules? What do I want, you might be thinking? Wouldn’t you like to know…;) (she says with  a coy smile suggested in the book “Why Men Like Bitches”)

Here are the ones I hear in the back of my mind constantly:
1. Don't talk about sex, politics, or past relationships on a first date.
2. Don't be available for last minute dates, expect him to plan ahead and he will.
3. Don't ask if he thinks you're fat...ever.
4. Don't constantly call or text him, pick up the phone...or make him pick it up.
5. Let him be touch, and if he calls don't pick up right away.
6. The list goes on, but I'm already tired of them.

Turns out what I'm actually missing is not to listen to the rules!? I don't want to approach something as fun as meeting someone as a task, although it certainly feels that way sometimes. I like some of the rules, they serve their purpose; however, others make me feel slightly uncomfortable. I have to be available, and yet  not available. Mysterious and yet kind. Times have changed for the better, and I also want to remember all of it is up for negotiation. From here on out I'm playing by my own rules which will mostly just consist of remembering what I deserve and not sharing too much too soon (gulp, difficult for an overcommunicator).


And these books and might help at some point. But believing a book can provide the answers for coping with the uncertainty of dating leaves a lot to be desired. Such as even not having rules.So, maybe he isn't that into me...or maybe I'm not bitchy enough...or too Venusian. Rules have a time and a place, and in my head when I'm trying to get to know someone authentically isn't one of them. Instead of spending time reading books, it seems more important to reflect on myself and the ways I get in my own way...rules being one of them. So, here are the dating rules taylored just for me:
1.Be receptive, allow someone to give to you...maybe even buy  you dinner!?
2. Don't have to prove to anyone, or yourself how good you are at being alone.
3. Be open to whatever lessons come your way from this person, your job is to hear them.

Today I'm grateful for Kabuki Spa, rose petals, and free wifi.

Practically green machine

I love this site: http://www.practicallygreen.com/ to take a quiz as a way of accessing "green status." I was suprised by my results, several easy things I could be doing that I'm not and my ranking isn't so impressive for a treehugger sort that I am. On my to do list as a "solidly  green person":

• plant a veggie garden,
• buy more used things or use Freecycle,
•  line dry my clothing
• Use a HEPA filter vac (still learning about that one)
• stop my bottle water habit (duh)
• use all natural cleaning products
• bring reuseable cups to coffee shops
• use more cloths and not napkins for meals

The list could go on and on, but I'm doing what I can...and so should you!

Today I'm grateful for quizzes, seats on the bus, and sunny days at the beach.

Tree of Life

For some reason or another I've been on a movie seeing spree. In the past two weeks I've seen five first-run movies, and one of them twice. The lucky winner? "Tree of Life" I haven't seen a film in the theatre twice since "Titanic" (feel free to gasp in horror here) in middle school. Quite simply the film, by Terrence Malick, is stunning. It interweaves the experience of being human with the vastness of the entire cosmos. It was filled with tension, the hotness of Brad Pitt, sexual confusion, tenderness and even dinosaurs. The dinosaurs were actually my favorite scene.

The film reminded viewers, those willing to think and surrender to its beauty, that life does indeed "go on" and much more than that. All of the cosmos echoes our experience just as we echo its own trials and tribulations. As modern Cosmology theories show us, we are universe at every moment. (notice didn't say "the," I still want to avoid the object-subject reference with articles.) All of creation and life is us, there is no separation. The dinosaurs, the planets, all were a part of our creation and a necessary part of it.

My favorite scene was after about 30 minutes of dialogue and story, for 15 minutes was a fury of beautiful images that I couldn't help but be mesmorized and at the same time shed a few tears. The film reminded me of what I know in my heart and yet still don't know how to fully understand. What does a life fully in touch with that knowledge look like? I suppose it begins with the "Tree of Life."

Today I'm grateful for facials, runs in the park, and trees.

Cakes Popping Up

There aren't many things I have a vast amount of knowledge on. There also aren't a whole lot of trends I follow intensely. My status as a dessert connoisseur defies both of these. I cant' help but notice the popping up of cake pops everywhere!? Starbucks has them, my parents got one for me for my birthday, and they were even at a comedy show I attended a few weeks ago.

While I appreciate the need for an ever change universe, sometimes I would appreciate if at least something would stay the same. My loyalty still feels to my beloved cupcake. Macaron, whoopie pies, or even cake pops can change my mind. Sure, they have some similarities, but it's the pops lack of frosting that gets me. And if it insists on being called a pop, why can't I lick it?

Today I'm grateful for sunsets, sleeping late, and Nicki Minaj.

Woman's Best Friend

Today the world feels a little less friendly, without one of my closest friends for the past 15 years – my dog Taz. Losing a pet is hard, anyone who has ever loved a four-legged furry can attest. It almost feels silly to be so upset over someone you don’t even talk to. It’s a death in the family and he’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a brother or even a child. I didn’t know how to express to the woman in line at the grocery store that indeed the cherries this season are delicious, I just didn't feel like being chatty today. Not sure how to explain to the yoga instructor why I kept crying in downward facing dog. (Okay, that last example is silly, but true.)


It’s quite simple, pets make homes more homey. They bring cohesion and play when it’s missing. They are always on your side when times get rough. Taz, aka Taz Boy or Tazzer, went for walks with me when I needed to breathe. When I needed to be reminded life actually wasn’t more significant than smelling the ground and bounding through tall grasses. One quick burying of my face into his neck and the world seemed just as it should be.

In high school I remember telling people I wanted to marry my dog (only if he were in human form of course, as if that statement isn’t weird enough as it is). I think back now and it doesn’t actually sound so crazy. He was a kind, gentle, friendly guy and impossible not to fall in love with. The first week we got him was Father’s Day. So Jen Jen, Taz, and I all crammed into the tiny back seat of the convertible for a drive up to the mountains with now what was the whole family. He leaned into the curves on the highway like an experienced race car driver and every now and then would lean in to kiss me on the chin.

Before he went to obedience school I attempted to take him on a walk on the leash to show him off at the park (apparently I thought a dog was what I needed to attract boys not wear makeup or pad my bra). He zig zagged across the sidewalk sniffing here and there darting in front of me. I started running up a hill near my house and he accidentally tripped me and I fell hard on the gravel. I thought he would run away when I lost hold of the leash, instead he just stood there waiting for me to continue. The same way he would run ahead on hikes in the mountains and then turn back to see if Mom, Dad, Jen Jen, and I were all still there.

After a person dies I feel there are ways they try to communicate with people still in the waking world. I’m not sure how I can still feel Taz around other than when I see a tail wag or find his fur on my clothes. In some sects of Buddhism they believe when a dog is a pet he/she gets reincarnated as a person in the next life. This thought brings me peace and makes me feel I made a difference in Taz’s life…so I will believe it. I’m forever grateful for the time I had with this woman’s best friend – Taz Farrar.

Today I'm grateful for doggie smell, walks, and wagging tails.