I turn to jeggings

Jeggings by definition are deceitful - leggings posing as jeans. I've wanted a pair for quite some time and hadn't quite found the right ones, until now. They have brought me great joy (hence the joy label for this blog) in the only 30 minutes they have spent in my closet. I also couldn't resist taking a photo of them without the intent to wear them anywhere today except in my apartment.

Is it silly to write an entire blog post about a pair of jeans - I mean jeggings? Probably, but seriously they are ingenius. Leggings that look like jeans with the comfort of my fabric of choice, spandex. What's even better...I got them on clearance because I had two coupons and the checkout person must have been new because he let me use both!? (New or pretending he didn't know the rules.) So when skinny jeans aren't tight enough and leggings aren't edgy enough - we can turn to jeggings.

Today I'm grateful for coupons at Express, Chicago, and curry chicken salad.

Young at heart

Today 28 years ago marks the day of my birth and entrance into this strange world of reality we call our experience. My parents said I didn't cry when I was born and they weren't sure if I was okay - I think it's because I knew the wonderful things that await me this go round on Planet Earth. As my age creeps closer and closer to 30 I can't help but still be excited for the wonderful things that await me.
When I came to CIIS and PCC I will never forget the words of a certain Mr. Drda who said, "In PCC there are two types of people - those who are into astrology and those who aren't yet into astrology." As much as I have resisted both of these two categories I find myself falling into the first. I had an archetypal astrology (don't know about it, look it up) reading several months ago that I'm only now comprehending and appreciating for its true priceless value. The main part of a chart tends to focus on the Sun's alignment with other planets when someone was born. In my case I have an opposition with Uranus (Prometheus, trickster) that trines with Mars.

This relationship can mean many things and the way it seems to best fit with me is the idea of Prometheus and the Puella Aerterna archetypes based in youth, creativity, and a sense of adventure. I love new things, places, and people. What I most identify with is the Prometheus symbolism...allow me to shed some light on this (Greek mythology joke, get it?). Prometheus representing bringing light/fire to humanity, I see that as my ultimate purpose - to bring love and whatever else I can to others. Whether it be through writing, relationships, or the arts - I'm clear it's something I will do on a small or large scale for my entire life. Call it naivete or curiosity - I'm young at heart and have my birth chart to prove it.

Today I'm so grateful for this life that gives me the chance to live, to love, to play, to write, to learn, to work, to eat sugar, and to stare at the stars (and also misquote Henry Van Dyke).

B2B got to me

Holy hell, my first Bay to Breakers (B2B) was a crazy ride!! I felt entirely unprepared for having thousands upon thousands of people running past my apartment at 8:30 a.m. on a Sunday. It seems the one day a year it's appropriate to be up before 11 a.m. on a weekend in Man Fran (particularly if you want to see a lot of naked men, which I sometimes do and sometimes do not). For the first 30 minutes I watched attentively from my window while sipping tea, as any dignified San Franciscan would. I am a serious philosophy grad student and have no such time for frivilous activities - I still have a final paper to write! Then the urge hit, suddenly the desire for a costume overcame me as I raced around my my apartment for my beloved bright blue spandex and hot pink leg warmers. Somewhere in the frantic dressing I texted one of my new, favorite neighbors to meet up to watch the madness up close and personal.

We grabbed some Blue Bottle Coffee and watched the seventh person pee in the same bush on Linden. Then we began the accent up Hayes hill towards Alamo Square surrounded by naked men (oh yes, I did already mention this), Tetris pieces, and even Gumby on a scooter. I couldn't help but wonder if I was still dreaming, how could this much madness even be possible? There were stumbling drunks, dancing drunks, and everything in between. I even got hit on by a pirate and liked it.

I completed the day with a bonfire on Ocean Beach with a few stragglers (barely capable of standing mind you) from the race and mostly people from my school enjoying graduation and the chilly ocean breeze. A lovely day and just as I settled in for the night...quickly realized it would only be right to sleep in my hot pink leg warmers. Yup, B2B certainly got to me.

Today I'm grateful for Lauren, bon fires, and side ponytails.

Easy come and easy go in Lost Mangeles

(Please note the opinions expressed in this post are those of the author and not meant to offend!!)

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about why it's always so easy to visit and easy to leave L.A. It's a fun place, but something there really bothers me. People are really nice and nice to look at, beautiful beaches and yummy food - not quite sure what I have against Lost Mangeles (yes, feel free to use this term, you have my permission). My partner in crime so clearly pointed it out to me before our yoga session overlooking the ocean. It's just too easy, everything from the weather to the laidback mentality. In Manibu (yes, this one is up for grabs as well), we had 75 degree cloudless skies almost every moment of the day. Several blocks away we could sit on the beach and enjoy a cold Evian (or whatever you like to drink on the beach - alcohol isn't my drug of choice).

I don't think taking the difficult road is always best, I do like to mix things up a bit with a few clouds or a slight chill - maybe even a beach several miles away instead of down the street. Like a lot of people in the world of course I dream of some sort of fame or recognition. For some reason or another my desire for popularity is markedly different than wanting to model or be Miss America (wow, that was a strange phase of mine). While still narcissistic at its core, I now dream of being on Oprah discussing a book I wrote on how to increase the consciousness levels of the world or win a Nobel Peace Prize for my efforts in solving international conflict. I want to know how someone's dreams and aspirations will not only make an impact for his/her life, and also the world. Something I must consistently ask about my goals includes how it will better all of humanity and not just myself. Figuring that out certainly is not easy, but it is easy to get lost when visiting Lost Mangeles - and I'm no exception.

Today I'm grateful for Intrepid Travel, money, and calls from my parents.

Lalaland

I'm off to LaLaLand for the weekend. Haven't been there since a particularly dramatic event that occurred about three years ago where I was visiting a boy (you know who you are and I still adore you!) and it ended in a huge fight and me spending the rest of my time there on a friend's couch. Enough of that, I'm excited to get away to SoCal with a convertible, a friend I adore, and lots of crappy food. I also need to mention my new nickname for Los Angeles is "Lost Mangeles" in keeping with my tradition of "manifying" cities. My last final awaits upon my return to Man Fran...if I decide to return, I hear LaLaLand is lovely this time of year.

Today I'm grateful for Evian, cheese balls, and Kelleigh.

The "p" word

As in papers...or more specifically final papers. I wanted to write a witty post this week making fun of a bumper sticker I saw. Alas, my mind has nothing in it besides facts and quotations needed for my final papers (emphasis on the plurarity as there are more than one and I can hardly wrap my head around one). Please allow this post to serve as nothing more than yet another attempt to procrastinate or an Internet plea to the paper Gods for strength and focus as I continue to embark on this new world of graduate school finals.

In love and school,

Becky

True Life: I'm NOT Polyamorous

I'm a sucker for real life on the big screen - not so much reality TV- documentaries with a clear focus and exploration of something interesting. MTV's True Life series does this for me with topics that are heart felt (as in True Life: I'm Homeless) to ridiculous (True Life: I'm a Jersey Shore Girl). Last Sunday evening I strayed from  my normal routine of my Netflix doc or foreign film in search of something more pop culture - and  I found it with True Life: I'm Polyamorous. Thanks to MTV for providing a guilty pleasure, in an educational format so I don't feel quite so bad about myself.

For some reason or another I feel the need to give myself some sort of credibility by using sources...so, according to Wikipedia polyamory (or "poly" for short) is:
Polyamory (from Greek πολυ [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor [love]) is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

This is an interesting topic to me as I sometimes get boy crazy and can get overwhelmed by commitment - polyamory seemed a great option. What I wasn't prepared for in my exploration was that I'm more traditional than I thought and am beginnning to appreciate the tradition of one significant relationship or partner at a time. Dating is a different story, dating more than one man at a time is always a good idea in my book - can't put all your eggs in one basket! (Although what really concerns me is that I'm more worried this draw towards tradition is a sign of getting older.)

My syntax critique begins now..."intimacy" and "love" both bother me. How can we all possibly be talking about the same thing with such a limited vocabulary? Um okay, "more than one intimate relationship." I already have more than one intimate relationship - I consider myself rather intimate with most people I know (not all 800 FB friends mind you, but the ones I see in person, yes). We share who we are on emotional levels of intimacy. Physical intimacy is an entirely different animal and I don't think they can be used interchangeably.

Now for love or in this case "romantic love." On a spiritual level I don't believe there's any difference, on a human level I feel convinced there must be. Butterflies and adrenaline - not love, hormones. Joy and peace - love. Polyamory seems tied to the idea that "love" is mostly experienced in romantic relationships and the more relationships you have the more love you would potentially have in your life (or least is the idea MTV's True Life made it seem). Love in all forms is something inside of us and I worry myself when I attempt to find it in any other form.

I have no doubt that an entirely enlightened being could be in significant romantic partnerships with many people without any issues of jealousy. Among the many things I am not, is enlightened. Love doesn't need ownership and therefore I know I experience romantic love most times in a societel way and not a spiritual way. Partnerships and marriages offer access to a spiritual practice of learning and growth. They can be challenging one day and blissful the next, they teach us about commitment, respect, and communication. (Not that I'm an expert - I know people in relationships and they tell me so.) ;) One of my favorite Goethe quotes (or possibly by W.H. Murray, there's still a debate about who said it):

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred."

What sorts of things can occur that may not have otherwise occured? I don't know and that's what I'm willing to find out - someday. ;) Thanks to MTV I learned a lot about me from this episode. Call me traditional, call me unenlightened - what I'm not is polyamorous.

Today I'm grateful for MTV, Zen gardens, and love (in all its perceived and radical forms).