"The noun of self becomes a verb. This flashpoint of creation in the present moment is where work and play merge." - Stephen Nachmanovitch

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Love is a "synching" feeling

I get skin hungry a lot, and spooning usually does the trick. When I say this it isn't so much in a sexual way (although let's be honest that happens), as a way to express my desire for bonding with others physically. Finally a book that makes me feel not so freakish. Susan Kuchinskas' book "The Chemistry of Connection" talks about oxytocin and why we need it to be a healthy, loving individual.

I've stopped seeing oxytocin as this "devil" hormone that  makes me attached to men I don't want to be and instead using it as a way to bond with people I truly care about (only a few of them men). The hormone serves a major function in being a mammal and our emotional limbic system, a part of me I have learned to love more than I thought possible. When our limbic systems synch with others causing similar breath patterns and heart beats, we bond and this bonding releases endorphins.


Several ways suggested in the book to boost the hormone levels of oxytocin:
-Sing in a choir
-Pet a cat or dog
-Hug a friend
-Sing in a choir (syncs up limbic systems)
-Have sex (that was a no-brainer)
-Cuddle Therapy (my friend Travis Sigley started a great group in SF)
-Exercising

Babies need this hormone as a way to live so they can synch up with their parents, particularly mothers. Harnessing the power of this hormone makes loving easier, and as a mammal I always enjoy that "synching" feeling.

Today I'm grateful for library, working computer, and going home soon!

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