I have a habit of doing everything I say I will, exhausting myself and then breaking down and needing to hide for a while. In Landmark I learned how important it is to honor what you say you will do. A lot of times we honor our moods or what we’re feeling, in a fleeting moment over our word. I’m learning the subtle difference between when a mood is controlling my reaction versus when it’s something my body really needs.
In Landmark Education they really stress that honoring your word is who you are. This was a major point of contention for me. Honoring the truth in a moment seems far more important. There’s a sutle difference between canceling plans because you’re not feeling “up to it” or “don’t feel like it.” It’s quite another when who you are at the core of you being needs something else. Yes, I’m certainly cautious with what and where I commit my energy, but I’m also learning that honoring myself far exceeds any words. Sometimes it means forcing myself to disappoint people I don’t want to let down. Call it my Saturn Return, call it exhaustion, maybe it's just my truth.
Today I'm grateful for words, evoking, and giving.
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