"If you live life backwards it's e-v-i-l."

The word "evil" certainly puts a dramatic spin on things (and so do I on occasion, so I can relate), but I believe it to be true. This quote by Gurudev Satchidananda (didn't think I would EVER be quoting a guru, but alas here it goes...), speaks to what happens when we live from the past.

Yesterday I saw bits of Napoleon Dynamite before heading downtown and became intrigued by Uncle Rico's character. (Usually, I'm so in love with Skip I don't pay much attention to anyone else. The man wants to be a cage fighter for heavens sake, god bless him.) He lives his entire life by 1982 (which was a lovely year by the way - Year of the Dog, year of my birth, etc.) and not being put in the football game to win the state championship. What an impact that has on his life...people don't take him seriously, his girlfriend broke up with him, and spends majority of his spare time making videos of him throwing the ball or throwing things at Napoleon. The guy believes he can throw a football over the mountains. Obviously this is an exaggerated example of living from our past, but don't most of us seem to have small ways of our past being "evil."

I've spent a lot of time examining my current thoughts and actions and what an impact living the past actually makes. To this day I struggle with moving forward in certain areas of my life and how it's preventing me from truly enjoying certain areas of my life.

Moving forward doesn't mean forgetting your past, not missing it, or pretending it doesn't affect you. It's just acknowledging how it is now and that it can't be any different. I miss people from my life that are no longer a part of it, and that's okay. I miss parts of my life that will never be same and that's okay too. What living from the past truly prevents us from living in our present, which is were all the magic happens (no, not just the bedroom). I think what holds us back is the fear of the future. The past is familiar and comfortable because we already know what happened...living in the future requires a willingness to be live in unfamiliar and unknown (insert spooky music here).

But really though, 1982 was a freakin' awesome year...

Today I'm grateful for guacamole, guilty pleasures, and lunch with Karla.