"The noun of self becomes a verb. This flashpoint of creation in the present moment is where work and play merge." - Stephen Nachmanovitch

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Power struggle

So often I notice a power struggle within me, as if the me I want to be and the me I am can't compromise. The me I am doesn't want to take responsibility for the way the things are (good bad, and ugly). The me I want to be wants to recognize myself as cause in the matter of it all (good, bad, and ugly).

There is something in my life that holds me back from taking responsibility and it's usually that I can still use excuses, blame other people or circumstances, and I get to be right. Not being the author of my life has cost me something and it's living my life fully. I don't work on changing an experience, I just accept it as it is. When I share the experience it becomes just that and loses its hold on me.

As Stephen Covey says, the true battle is between your disciplined and undisciplined self. The disciplined me sat down to write and the undisciplined keeps looking at Facebook after every few sentences...;) Maybe the really struggle is just accepting this...the good, bad, and the ugly.

Today I'm grateful for Facebook, my cell phone, and my lost luggage.

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