All hail Madonna

Indeed the Material Girl has completely motivated me this week.** Madonna's myriad songs (please remember, not to use "of" after myriad, EVER - it's improper usage. Okay, I'm done with my grammar lesson of the day) have many different effects on me.

They either:
a) put me in the mood ("Erotica"),
b) make me want to dance like a crazy ("Vogue"), or
c) make me have the sudden urge to do karoake (as in the case of "Beautiful Stranger." Long story short, drunk in Paris doing karoake, after finishing finals and making out with a hot French man).

This photo is in homage to feeling powerful and sexy, two things I don't feel as often as I want to, especially not lately. Like a lot of smart women I get incredibly discombobulated (I've been searching for a reason to use that word all week) when it comes to men. Somehow I stop using logic and allow myself to get scared of someone not wanting me around anymore and leaving. As if by them leaving my whole world will fall apart. I can even feel the switch when I go from healthy, independent Becky to feeling sick and needy. This isn't me, it tends to happen when I realize I really care for someone and see a future I'm not willing to let go of.

I'm not berating myself here, just reminding myself (and hopefully you, if you're in a similar position) that when we sell ourselves short, it's time to up the price. (Wow, that totally sounds like I'm promoting prostitution.)

Okay, back to Madonna and how she put me back on track. Her song "Express Yourself" has lyrics that knocked my socks off and this was the first time I truly heard them. Picture this I'm walking to my acupuncture appointment listening to my iPod on shuffle and I hear:

"You deserve the best in life,
So if the time isn't right then move on,
Second best is never enough,
You'll do much better baby on your own."

It was as if the heavenly mother Madonna herself knew the yucky situation I have put myself in. Allow me to explain briefly without the gory, yucky details: I'm crazy about someone (who used to be crazy about me), who now has a girlfriend and continues to talk to me and interact in a way that leads me to believe he still wants to be with me. How did I get here? When did I forget what I deserved?

All hail Madonna the Like a Virgin Queen for her heavenly insight (as well as the three other people who told me in person to move on and I didn't listen).

(**Note to reader, this blog is very personal and leaving me very vulnerable, if you're not prepared for this kind of emotional intimacy with me, please stop here.)

Today I'm grateful for my iPod, my soon to be PDA, and tough love to get me back on track.